She had bright red hair and I tried not to stare
At her gown which was low and strapless
She was one hot number, cool as a cucumber,
For she was from Minneapolis.
Saturday night and the lights were bright
And I wanted to ask her to dance
But I'm from St. Paul, and she made me feel small
And I could not take the chance.
And that was thirty-two years ago
And that's why I started a radio show
And wrote some novels and won a big prize
Was just to look good in that girl's eyes.
And I saw her today at a little cafe
On Hennepin Avenue
I smiled at her and I held out my hand
And she said, "Who the heck are you?"
And her icy glare as she stared at me there
Made me feel about two feet tall
You may do very well, even win a Nobel,
But you still are from the wrong city.
Jearlyn Steele:
Everyone knows it when you're from St. Paul
You are someone they look right through
They are so not into you
You may be the picture of style and grace
But you've got Small Time written on your face.
You're minor league, you are class D ball
And everybody knows it when you're from St. Paul.
You can comb your hair a whole new way
Try to be cool again and not passe
You can strut your stuff and be dressed to kill
But people know you're from Nowheresville.
It's got the capitol, and the St. Paul Archdiocese,
But Minneapolitans have strong biases.
It's not Soul City, just a big small town.
And you're not Ray Charles, you are Charlie Brown.
Garrison Keillor:
So one April I got a makeover,
Got a cologne made from 4 leaf clover
My face was lifted and my chin regressed.
I got a hair transplant on my chest.
I bought a Rolex and a new Cadillac.
I got Armani clothes, everything black,
I wore a fedora, a perfect disguise,
I came to Minneapolis they just rolled their eyes.
Cause everyone knows it when you're from St. Paul.
You can use a new mouthwash with a clean fresh smell,
And spray on Chanel, somehow they can tell.
But someday me and Jearlyn Steele
We will be in a movie and that's a big deal.
And Minneapolis will give us a call
And we'll say, Hey, come on over, we're in St. Paul.