Garrison Keillor: ...after this word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

Tim Russell These are the good times for Barb and me. For Valentine's Day, we took a trip to Milwaukee, the city where we first shared a frozen custard. We had a romantic weekend and went to the art museum and the Potawatomie Casino and played the nickel slots and inhaled a lot of secondary smoke --it was like a dream sequence in a soap opera. The big snowstorm rolled in so we were snowbound in the hotel and we slept late and woke up, feeling great, at least I did, but Barb seemed restless, waiting for room service-- Barb, what's wrong? We're in Milwaukee. We should be happy.

Sue Scott: Oh, Jim. I just can't forget that Milwaukee Art Museum. The Calatrava glass reception hall with the 90-foot ceiling and the Burke Brise Soleil. I want to re-do our house, Jim. It feels so dowdy after that. The way that building soared and curved -- so exotic, so mysterious -- our house is not spiritually uplifting, Jim. Maybe that's why we don't ever leave it.

TR: But we did leave it. We're in Milwaukee.

SS: It's small and dank and depressing, Jim. So we sit inside and feel gloomy and old. If we had a nice house, a house with light spilling in, a house that interacts with its environment--

TR: Barb, we don't want to interact with the environment. It's winter.

SS: I want the house to soar, Jim. I don't want it to sit there squatting like a toad.

TR: When buildings soar, Barb, you don't want to be in them. You want to be down in a storm shelter. That's what our house is. A shelter from the storm. The less soaring the better, in my book.

SS: But the Calatrava is so much more-- organic.

TR: Organic stuff in the home, Barb-- there are disinfectants to control that sort of thing. (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Good. Here's room service. (DOOR OPEN)

Fred Newman: Morning. Got your breakfast here. Two orders of scrambled eggs and bacon. Large pot of coffee. Cream and sugar. Fruit plate. Rye toast. Okay?

TR: What about the ketchup?

FN: You want ketchup?

TR: Ketchup, sir, contains natural mellowing agents that will help settle my wife down so I don't have to re-do our house with a 90-foot ceiling.

FN: Ketchup coming right up.. (THEME)

Rich Dworsky: These are the good times, spring will soon be here.
Paint the bedroom orange, buy a chandelier
Dance the polka, pour ketchup in your beer.
GK: Ketchup...for the good times.

RD: Ketchup...ketchup...ketchup.