(ORGAN THEME)
Tim Russell: Once again we take you to the hushed reading room of the Herndon County Library for the adventures of Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian.(MUSIC FADES)
Sue Scott: The display window looks quite lovely, Trent. "Big Books for Busy Beavers" -- how did you ever get the teeth marks on those birch logs?
Tom Keith: (TEEN) Used a Boy Scout pocket knife, Miss Harrison.
SS: It looks wonderful. Now go wash your hands. I don't want to get birch sap all over the rare books. And come right back-these romance novels need reshelving.
TK (TEEN): Yes ma'am. (FOOTSTEPS AWAY)
SS (TO HERSELF): Romance! Oh it's exasperating. (FOOTSTEPS, SLOW) I've done everything I could to encourage interest in the classics. Tolstoy, Dickens, Jane Austen. Put up displays.....hung their portraits.......set their books out on tables -- and people walk around them to go pick up this-- tripe........ "The Heart Cannot Be Contradicted"...... "The Touch of His Hand"....... "I'm In The Nude For Love".........junk. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
GK: Excuse me, I'm looking for -- Ruth!
SS: Stanley!
GK: I -- I had no idea you were still here in Herndon.
SS: Yes. I'm still here. So--how's everything in neurobiology?
GK: I'm doing exciting work with crickets, Ruth.
SS: Good. And-- are you married, Stanley? I heard you had taken up with your lab partner.
GK: Melody. Yes. We're married. -- You look different, Ruth--
SS: It's been thirty years. Everything's different.
GK: I remember you in a rather dramatic red silk blouse and a cape and leather boots that laced up to your thighs.
SS: The 1974 Library Ball.
GK: We danced together.
SS: Yes. We danced -- one long dizzying intoxicating whirl that went on and on -- and then we stood in the moonlight in the middle of the vast sward of grass and almost involuntarily, our lips touched. Oh Stanley -- we kissed and we kissed -- and then horns honked and we parted -- our fingertips touched -- And then I never saw you again. (SHE SOBS, THEN CATCHES HERSELF) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. (NOSE BLOW) What happened to you, Stanley?
GK: I guess I got engrossed in the study of nocturnal circadian rhythms in the adaptation of the cricket's neurotransmitters -- did you know that crickets have a compound eye that lets them see in all directions? That's why I came. I understand that you have a rare paper in German on the retina of the cricket--
SS: All of our entomology materials are in the basement. Level D.
GK: Thank you. (FOOTSTEPS, THEN STOP, RETURN) It's good to see you again, Ruth. We should get together sometime.
SS: Oh? Do you think so? I don't know-- (FOOTSTEPS AWAY) Enjoy your work, Stanley. --(DOOR CLOSES, OFF) Fool. He's even starting to look like a cricket in his old age. (SHE HUMS AS SHE SORTS THROUGH SOME FILE CARDS AT THE DESK) Ha. Who's the fool? Me. He walked away from me and I stayed here and waited for him. -- That sounds like a romance novel. -- Darn. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
TR (VAMPIRE): Good afternoon, Miss Harrison. It's me. From the Taxpayers League.
SS (STARTLED): Vlad --
TR (VAMPIRE): You remember!
SS: What can I do for you, Vlad?
TR (VAMPIRE): I am going to close this library. So we can have more tax cuts. I love tax cuts. I want to cut and cut and cut! And I want this library for my own. There is nobody here. It's like a crypt.
SS: Not true, Vlad. There's an important scientist doing research in the basement right now, as a matter of fact.
TR (VAMPIRE): In the basement, you say.
SS: Yes.
TR (VAMPIRE): I must go find him.........
SS: Stop right there.
TR (VAMPIRE): You dare tell -- ME -- to stop?? You??? A mere librarian???
SS: Those are fighting words, Vlad -- (SHE DRAWS SWORD) --
TR (VAMPIRE): A sword!!!! Aha!!!!
SS: I always keep it at the circulation desk for occasions just like this-- (SHE THRUSTS)
TR (VAMPIRE): Very well. (HE DRAWS SWORD. THEY PARRY. FOOTSTEPS, SLIDING, AS SHE ADVANCES, ON THE ATTACK, AND HE RETREATS) Why do you defend this scientist? Eh? He abandoned you? He doesn't love you!
SS: I am a librarian, you fiend, and I will not let you shut me down! (SHE ATTACKS)
TR (VAMPIRE): Excellent. For a librarian you handle a sword very well.
SS: "For a librarian"????? Take this, you fiend. (SHE THRUSTS AND PIERCES HIS HEART) (HE GASPS AND FALLS) (HIS VOICE BECOMES SMALL AND HIGH) There. That ought to settle your hash for awhile. I believe I'll file you in the deep sub-basement. Under D for Defunct. (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
GK: I heard footsteps up here.....voices.
SS: It's nothing. Sorry to disturb you.
GK: I thought maybe you were in trouble.
SS: I can handle it, Stanley. I'm a librarian. (THEME UP)
TR: Join us again soon for another episode of Ruth Harrison, Reference Librarian. (MUSIC OUT)