PHONE RINGS
Sue Scott (MIDWESTERN): Hello?
Tim Russell: Hi mom. It's Jim. Happy Mother's Day.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Who?
TR: Jim, your son. In prison. I just wanted to call and say thanks.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Oh Jim - I'm sorry -- I didn't recognize your voice.
TR: It's a bad phone connection, mom. I'm here in the cellblock, and people are throwing stuff at me.
SS (MIDWESTERN): I hope they're feeding you all right.
TR: Well, it's nothing like your cooking, Mom. Believe me.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Well, that's nice of you to say.
TR: I hope you know, Mom, that it was nothing you did or didn't do that led me to steal that $140 million dollars from my company. That was me, Mom. It had nothing to do with you.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Oh I know, honey.
TR: And when I artificially inflated our earning in order to drive the stock price up and then cashed in while thousands of employees and stockholders were left penniless and begging for table scraps, that was my doing, Mom. Not yours.
SS: (MIDWESTERN): Well, I must say that's a relief to hear. So how is Andrea doing at home all by herself in that enormous house?
TR: It's Ahn-drea, Mom. Not Ann-drea. She's fine.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Here in Mitchell, we pronounce it Ann-drea, but never mind.
TR: She's from Connecticut.
SS (MIDWESTERN): Well. The newspaper stories said you and Ahn-drea spent a quarter-million dollars on a shower stall -- somebody was asking me about that at church, Jim. They wondered if it was true.
TR: It was marble, Mom. Marble from Italy.
SS (MIDWESTERN): You know, you can mix up the grout yourself if ya got a bag of sand and some cement mix.
TR: And it had a steam attachment. For steam-it's a steam room-
SS (MIDWESTERN): You needed a steam room?
TR: I just thought it was nice.
SS (MIDWESTERN): For a quarter-million dollars, it ought to be nice.
TR: Is Dad there?
SS (MIDWESTERN): He's taking a nap.
TR: Oh.
SS (MIDWESTERN): He's all worn out from mowing the lawn. I keep telling him to hire somebody but he says, No, I don't want to spend the money on it, when we're trying to raise money to fix the roof of the church. Roof is leaking. Not sure you ever heard about that. They need - well, actually, about a quarter-million to fix it. That's just for the roof. No marble or steam room.
TR: Maybe I should call back later, Mom.
SS (MIDWESTERN): If you want steam, you could come to Mitchell in August and mow our lawn.
TR: I've got to run, Mom. Happy mother's day
SS (MIDWESTERN): Goodbye dear
TR: Goodbye mother. (HANGUP)