Garrison Keillor: For people who need to travel back and forth between New York and Minnesota, language can be confusing, and that's why we've published the Yiddish-Minnesota phrasebook for travellers.
Sue Scott: Mazel tov.
Tim Russell: Real good then.
SS: So, nu?
TR: How come? What's the deal?
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Ufta.
GK: There are six pages devoted to Oy veh alone--
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Anyways.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Boy, you got a vivid imagination there.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: Oh, fer gosh sake.
SS: Oy veh.
TR: I knew it!
SS: Oy veh.
TR: I've about had it up to here!
GK: Plus hundreds of other handy terms and phrases in both languages.
SS: What a schlemiel.
TR: Lissen, ya big corndog. Don't be such a doofus.
SS: Listen, enough with the schmoozing, time to get off your tucchis.
TR: Well, can't sit around here chewing the fat all day, gotta hit the road.
SS: He's nice. So heymish.
TR: Yeah, she could've done a lot worse, I'll say that.
SS: Even if his house is full of dreck.
TR: You ever been in his house? It's different, I'll say that.
GK: Almost enough phrases in the Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary so you can carry on a whole conversation.
SS: Don't make a tsimmes out of it.
TR: Don't go to no trouble on account a us. No need to get all hoity-toi about it. Just put the hay down where the goats can get it.
SS: As if we don't have enough tsuris already.
TR: We're hip deep in sheep dip as it is.
SS: Why are we schlepping all this way out to New Jersey to see that schmegegge?
TR: This is kindda the roundabout way of getting there, don't you know. If it were up to me, I'd just as soon stay home. The guy is dumber than a box full of hammers.
SS: Who am I? The highway map maven?
TR: Don't ask me, you're driving.
SS: What's all the shtus about?
TR: I feel like I'm in a bunch of lunatics.
SS: I am sitting on shpilkes with all this schlepping around and all the other mishegas. I am completely oysgeshpilt.
TR: She's got her undies in a bunch cause of all the hoop-de-doo, I think she's about to go into conniptions and pitch a fit.
SS: Feh!
TR: That's no good.
GK: The Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary. Two languages that are rich in sorrow and complaint, a little short on the rhapsodic.
SS: Nisht geferlich.
TR: Could be worse.
SS: Hey I'm farmisht.
TR: What do you say we tie on the old feedbag?
SS: So, nu?
TR: Whaddaya say let's head inta town.
GK: The Yiddish-Minnesota dictionary. Get one. Don't be a dummy.