GK: We're talking now with Mr. Howard Colt of Minneapolis. Welcome to our show.
TR (BUSH): Thank you very much.
GK: You're originally from Texas, I believe.
TR (BUSH): Moved to Minneapolis fifteen years ago. Came up in October. Had no idea what was about to happen. (CHUCKLES) Snow? What's this? Thought the sky was falling. But I stayed. Found a job. Worked hard. Bought a house. Did okay for myself.
GK: Mr. Colt, you are a man whose life has been changed by a remarkable coincidence, and that is the fact that you look exactly like President George W. Bush.
TR (BUSH): That is correct.
GK: The similarity between you and the President is just simply unbelievable.
TR (BUSH): People who ride my bus are pretty surprised by it too. (CHUCKLES)
GK: You even blink like him.
TR (BUSH): My contacts are bothering me.
GK: You sound a little bit like him but you look exactly like him. How about when you walk?
TR (BUSH): Walk like him too. In Texas, we call it a cock walk. You learn it from roosters.
GK: I see. But you're not related to the President?
TR (BUSH): No, sir. My family comes from Texas. Down around Houston. My daddy was a bus driver. Just like me.
GK: You drive a bus?
TR (BUSH): Drive a city bus. Como-Xerxes route. No. 6. Did up until about a year ago. Then I quit.
GK: Why did you quit?
TR (BUSH): Just got tired of people staring at me and making remarks.
GK: It got to you.
TR (BUSH): People'd pull up alongside and yell, "Glad to see you got a job you can handle!" They'd say, "Looking for Osama in Edina?" That gets tiresome after awhile.
GK: I can imagine.
TR (BUSH): They'd yell, "Let's see you make a left turn!" That isn't so humorous after you've heard it three hundred thousand times.
GK: No.
TR (BUSH): And then my wife left me.
GK: I'm sorry to hear that.
TR (BUSH): She said it made her feel creepy.
GK: She's a Democrat?
TR (BUSH): Right.
GK: How about you?
TR (BUSH): What about me?
GK: Your politics.
TR (BUSH): Don't have any. Never cared about it. Bunch of crooks and liars. I stay away from it. Bad business.
GK: Have you always spoken in very short sentences?
TR (BUSH): That's how I talk. Never thought about it. What's the problem?
GK: Never mind. So what are you doing now that you don't drive bus anymore?
TR (BUSH): Well, I tried selling used cars for awhile, but that didn't work.
GK: No. I imagine not.
TR (BUSH): People liked me but they weren't buying. And then I thought about hiring myself out for parties and TV commercials and all that--
GK: Right.
TR (BUSH): Bought me a flight suit and a sign that said "Mission Accomplished" and got a Web site--RentABush-dot-com.
GK: How was that?
TR (BUSH): Well, I made the mistake of setting my rates too low. So I got rented mostly by Democrats. They'd stand me in a corner and yell at me. That got old pretty quick. So I went into the oil business.
GK: I see.
TR (BUSH): The mineral oil business.
GK: And that was successful?
TR (BUSH): Didn't go anywhere with that. Then I ran a ballclub.
GK: Baseball?
TR (BUSH): Snooker. Professional snooker. Didn't catch on. So I looked in the mirror and I said, "You're George Bush. That's who you are."
GK: So what did you do then?
TR (BUSH): I raised my rental rates to a hundred-thousand dollars a day.
GK: That's a lot to pay to have somebody come and stand around who doesn't know that much.
TR (BUSH): Oh? You think so?
GK: You mean you've found people who will pay that much?
TR (BUSH): Yeah. I was in Tempe, Arizona, last week and St. Louis before that and Florida the week before that. I've been getting around.
GK: What were you doing?
TR (BUSH): Well, they put me on television and they stuck a tiny earpiece in my ear and they told me what to say and I said it. Worked pretty well.
GK: That was you we saw on television?
TR (BUSH): Yep.
GK: Where was the President? (LITTLE TINNY SOUND OF VOICE) What's that? I heard something. Was that another voice I heard?
TR (BUSH): The President is providing steady leadership, (TINNY VOICE) and bringing democracy to the Middle East as God intended. I am Dick Cheney and I approved of this message.
GK: Okay, thank you, Mr. Howard Colt of Minneapolis, a man who bears an uncanny resemblance to the President. (MUSIC OFF)