(COWBOY THEME)
SS: THE LIVES OF THE COWBOYS.....brought to you by Wild Bill Brand Inflatable Doughnut for your saddle.....so a day on the trail ain't so hard on your tail -------And now let's join Dusty and Lefty for today's exciting adventure.... (CATTLE, HORSES, SLOW WALK)
GK: Think we ought to head up the draw there, Dusty.
TR (OFF): You mean the canyon?
GK: No, the draw.
TR (OFF): Looks more like a gulch to me. Or an arroyo.
GK: Whatever.
TR (OFF): Or a coulee. (TWO BEATS) I suppose some people might refer to it as a chasm.
GK: Forget it. You know what day today is?
TR: Nope.
GK: It's the thirtieth anniversary of our partnership, Dusty. Thirty years.
TR: I don't like you referring to us as partners, Lefty. People misunderstand.
I prefer the term "colleagues". Or "cronies". Makes it sound like we got money.
GK: Thirty years.
TR: Livestock Associates would be another term.
GK: I said to myself thirty years ago, I sure would hate to spend the rest of my life doing this, and by george, that's exactly what I've gone and done.
TR: You regret it?
GK: Bitterly. Wish I'd married Evelyn Bebalo instead. Whoa! (WHINNY) She was sensitive and caring and spiritual---- Easy. (DISMOUNTS, FOOTSTEPS AWAY)
TR: What you stopping here for?
GK: (OFF) What do you think I'm stopping for?
TR: Oh. ---- Right.
GK: (OFF) She wanted to marry me and I said I'd think about it and romance doesn't bear thinking about, you just get more uncertain, you gotta leap and take your chances, and now I wish I had and it's too late.
TR: Lefty, most married men didn't know what true happiness was until they got married and then it was too late. Only thing they had in common with their wife was that their anniversary was the same day as hers. They discovered that marriage is God's way of keeping people from fighting with a complete stranger. Only men who ought to get married are men with pierced ears.
GK: (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Why is that?
TR: They've experienced pain and they've bought jewelry.
GK: (If I'd married her, I'd have a companion in life. Someone to help me over the rough spots.
TR: Hey. You got me. Your colleague. I been with you.
GK: Well, that is true. I guess.
TR: Been with you all the way.
GK: I guess so. When the horse fell on me and busted my leg, you were there, Dusty. When the rattlesnake came in my sleeping bag and bit me on the chest, you were there. When the grizzly chased me up the tree, you were there, and when the cattle turned and chased me into the box canyon, and when I drank the whiskey that turned out to be disinfectant, and when I sat down on the campfire, you were there.
TR: I was.
GK: You know something? I think you're bad luck. (STRUM, BAD CHORD)
TR: Don't sing, it riles up the cattle.
GK:
I'm just an old cowboy with twigs in my hair
I'm two-third alligator and three-quarters bear
And one half a liar but let it be known
I never told one lie that was not my own.
I've got me a ballpoint, hand-carved and hand-tooled,
Where I cut a notch for each critic I fooled,
It's been thirty years I been doing this show,
And the posse is coming, but they're coming on slow.
Whoop (HORSE WHINNY) itiyiyo git along little doggies.
Yes, I am a rider in the sun and the rain.
I rode with James Thurber and with Mark Twain.
They mostly rode better than I and I mean it
But I am still living and that is convenient.
Whoopitiyiyo (HORSE WHINNY) git along little dogies.
TR: What do you say we head for Yellow Springs, find us a saloon with some liberal dancehall floozies, throw our money to the winds, and wake up in the morning with a mouth full of ashes?
GK: Okay, pardner.
TR: Livestock associate.
GK: Okay, livestock associate.
(THEME)
SS: The Lives of the Cowboys----.brought to you by Wild Bill Brand Pneumatic Saddle--.it's inflated. (THEME OUT)