--..brought to you by the Catchup Advisory Board. (PIANO)
SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. The pipes in the basement froze and burst, so now we can replace that awful green carpet. With the weather being so cold, we got a very good price on cemetery plots, so that's one less thing to worry about. I've managed to get Jim confused about the dates so he thinks the Super Bowl is a week from tomorrow and he's agreed to take me out shopping for new curtains tomorrow afternoon. He's been so nice lately ever since he slipped on the ice and hit his head. The other day he started trying out the new cookbook that I gave him for Christmas ----- Oh, what are you making, Jim? Something involving battery acid?
TR: No, it's gumbo, Barb. It's a New Orleans specialty.
SS: I guess that's why it smells like low tide. Are you sure you followed directions?
TR: Well, we're out of chicken stock, so I used cream of mushroom instead, and instead of fresh mint leaves I used a couple of Tic Tacs and the grocery didn't have crawfish so I used fish sticks. And we didn't have the cayenne pepper and chili powder and garlic, so I put in a tablespoon of allspice. That oughta work, don't you think?
SS: That might be a problem. Too many substitutions. And why is it red?
TR: Well, the recipe said "a dash of Tabasco" and I thought it said "two quarts".
SS: That's a lot of hot sauce. See how the kitchen wallpaper is coming loose and the ceiling plaster is falling off in big chunks?
TR: Oh. Well ---- maybe it just needs to cook longer.
SS: Jim, when you take a wrong turn, going farther down the road isn't the answer. You need to get back where you started out, and for people in our part of the country, Jim, that means good old catchup. Catchup contains natural mellowing agents that cure restlessness and help you accept what you have. Let's just heat up a new batch of fish sticks and have them with catchup, what do you say?
RD (SINGS): If life seems grim like a page from Jeremiah
You don't need hot sauce, you need to go and buy a
Bottle of catchup for your jambalaya
GK: catchup. For the good times.
RD (SINGS): catchup--catchup--