GK: ----back right after this message from Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
SS: Does this seem just incredibly small-minded to you? I always used to go to this party at the Waldens where everybody exchanges Christmas cookies and I would make these fabulous cookies from my mother's recipe, with sour cream and molasses in it, and chilled and cut and decorated, and I'd take them over there and exchange them for some crummy chocolate chip cookies from dough that comes frozen in a tube. I got sick of it. So I said I couldn't come this year, that I was too busy, so they sent over a whole big brown bag full of wretched chocolate chip cookies, and I was so irked I threw them in the garbage can and I am about 95% certain that Barbara Walden saw me do it. She's been looking at me sidelong ever since. I was at the community choir concert on Monday and she was staring at me, like I was a child molester, .so I made up a batch of my molasses and sour cream cookies, and I took them over to her house, and I was just about to knock on her door when I saw her dancing around the living room in these pink leotards and a black t-shirt about three sizes too small and ---- Barbara Walden in leotards, with that big butt of hers, it looked like two pigs fighting in a laundry bag ---- I turned around to go and her dog growled at me and I slipped on the ice and fell and twisted something in my back, and she came out and helped me up, and of course she thought I was spying on her, and I told her I was bringing over some cookies, but the dog had run off with them, so now she thinks I'm a peeping tom. This whole thing got started when we went to their house in August and they were barbecuing and a hot spark went up my nostril and I had to have part of a lung removed and then Jennifer graduated from community college with her associate of arts in aromatherapy and we thought she'd be moving out of the house but instead her boyfriend was just moving in and his alternative rock band EgoTesticle started rehearsing in our garage and the noise killed our cat Weezer who had been frail and that drumming affects its kidneys, and I had to take that little kitty in to the vet to have it put down and it just hit me like a ton of bricks, harder than I ever could have imagined and it made me realize how fragile life is and how we have to live every day to its fullest and I quit the Lutheran Church and joined a charismatic church, which Irv referred to as the Church of the Sacred Menopause, as he was on his way out the door, and good riddance I say, the world is better without him. I decided then and there to volunteer at the animal pound so I can help creatures who actually have problems instead of people who just complain for no reason. Anyway, that's what happened here. I hope this letter finds you all well, especially after so many copies of last year's letter came back to us unopened. You know who you are.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll go help myself to some Rhubarb Pie.
GK: There's nothing like it at the Holidays----..Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie--..it's the secret to the good life as we know it.