GK: I love this CD.
SS: I never knew you liked classical piano.
GK: I like this.
SS: Is this the CD your old girlfriend sent you?
GK: This?
SS: I saw the envelope. It came on your birthday.
GK: I don't remember.
SS: I do.
GK: It's beautiful though, isn't it?
SS: The music is, yes. What personal associations it has for you, I have no way of knowing.
GK: (SIGH) Where is Josh?
SS: He went over to Stephanie's house.
GK: New girlfriend?
SS: Mmmmhmmm. He says she's the first person who supports him in his journey.
GK: His journey? To where? The Pizza Hut?
SS: Los Angeles. He wants to get into reality television.
GK: Maybe he ought to try reality first.
SS: He's making a reality video. Remember the money you gave him for his birthday? He bought a digital video camera. He's doing a movie on us.
GK: He is?
SS: It's called. Breakfast.
GK: You've seen it?
SS: Stephanie told me about it.
GK: His girlfriend?
SS: She babysits for the Showalters. She says it's very funny. She also asked if you're under treatment for something.
GK: -I don't wake up well, you know that---- I'm not even that aware of breakfast ---- I sort of achieve consciousness somewhere around ten-thirty or eleven. Is it legal for him to be taping us in our own home without our permission? Well, I can't worry about it. It's up to him, we have our own lives to lead ------ I think we've been way too focused on him for much too long now. Kids are such tyrants. They know how they control us. Between Kim Il Jong and a 15-year-old there is a lot in common. I tell you, there was a time in this country------
SS: Excuse me. ----- You're about to tell the story about how you paid your own way to Europe when you were nineteen, right?
GK: Right. And I hitch-hiked around and-----
SS: Listen. It's a wonderful story, but I don't want to hear it again. Okay?
GK: Okay.
SS: Let's lead our own lives, as you were saying.
GK: Okay.
SS: (SEDUCTIVELY) We can take our minds off parenthood in the way that parents have always taken their minds off parenthood.
GK: You mean-------
SS: Yes.
GK: Now?
SS: Of course.
GK: Okay. (COLLAR JINGLE, PANTING) What is it about this dog that he always comes around when we're just about to ------ (CREAK OF SPRINGS) Come on. Come, Ruf. (DOG WHINE) Come. Out of here. Go. (DOG WHINE) (DOOR OPEN) Go away. (DOOR CLOSE) (BARE FOOTSTEPS) There. Mmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmm.
SS: Mmmmmmm yourself.
GK: Nice to see you.
SS: Likewise.
GK: Nothing like good old fashioned nudity to get the blood running. That's the advantage of growing up repressed. It makes sex exciting for the rest of your life.
SS: Glad you're excited.
GK: I am. You're incredibly sexy.
SS: Would you mind changing this CD?
GK: Why?
SS: I don't want to make love with you to a CD that your old girlfriend sent you, okay?
GK: What's wrong with it?
SS: Just change it.
GK: Okay. (CREAK OF BED) (BARE FOOTSTEPS) (MUSIC STOPS IN MID-PHRASE) What do you want instead?
SS: How about Tchaikovsky?
GK: Too weepy.
SS: Bach?
GK: Too churchy.
SS: Satie?
GK: The Gymnopedies?
SS: Or is that one that your old girlfriend and you used to make love to?
GK: No.
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
TR (JOSH, OUTSIDE): Mom? Dad? Can I come in?
GK: No, don't come in----- (DOOR OPEN)
TR (TEEN): Jeeze, it's like pitch-black in here. Where are you?
GK: Never mind.
TR (TEEN): What's wrong?
GK: Nothing, just leave ---- okay?
TR (TEEN): Dude, I was just coming in to say hi and you get all hostile about it, I don't get it.
SS: It's okay, honey. We were just talking-----
GK: Just talking? It was just talk?
TR (TEEN): Did you guys have a nice time tonight?
GK: Could've been better.
TR (TEEN): What are you doing in the dark, Dad?
GK: Just putting on a pair of pants, that's all.
TR (TEEN): What's the problem?
SS: Nothing, it's just that sometimes Dad and I like to be alone. You understand.
TR (TEEN): You've been alone all evening.
GK: This is true.
TR (TEEN): Anyway, I wanted to tell you that Stephanie and I are together.
SS: That's wonderful. She's a terrific kid. I think you two will be so good for each other.
GK: What does that mean, you're "together"?
TR (TEEN): It means we're going out. She's really cool. She's helped me a lot at school.
GK: That's good.
TR (TEEN): I really think I can get my grades up to, like, a 2.0 or 1.8 this semester.
SS: That's wonderful.
TR (TEEN): I'm almost done with my project for social studies. It's a video. I've shown it to some people and they think it's really really good. It's called "The American Nuclear Breakfast".
GK: Sounds interesting.
TR (TEEN): Yeah, I sure put that birthday gift to good use. Thanks, Dad.
GK: You're welcome, Josh. Just remember that mercy is a part of any mature work of art, Josh-----
TR (TEEN): What do you mean?
GK: I don't know. Anyway----- good to talk to you. We're going to go to bed now. Okay? So---- see you in the morning. Round the old nuclear breakfast table.
TR (TEEN): You know, whenever I feel like talking, you guys don't want to. You tell me you want me to trust you and communicate and everything and then like you totally shut me out ----- I'm trying to foster some openness and stuff----
SS: We're just tired, honey. Okay? It's ten o'clock. Bedtime.
TR (TEEN): Okay. Cool. See ya.
GK: See you.
TR (TEEN): Good night, Mom.
SS: Good night, honey.
TR (TEEN): You two take it easy.
GK: Yeah, I guess we will. Good night. (DOOR CLOSE)
SS: Come here.
GK: I'm coming. Just a second. (CLASSICAL PIANO) How's that?
SS: This is nice.
GK: Good. (BARE FOOTSTEPS, BED CREAK)
SS: Wait a minute. What's that little light flashing in the ceiling?
GK: Is that part of the alarm system?
SS: Oh, right. It's the motion detector.
GK: Well. Let's create some motion.
SS: Are you sure it's the motion detector? I thought that was downstairs. That couldn't be a camera, could it?
GK: No.
SS: No, of course not. You're right. That's silly.
GK: I mean, he wouldn't do something like that.
SS: Absolutely not.
GK: We've become paranoid.
SS: Well, it comes with the territory.
GK: I just have a feeling that the dog is in here somewhere.
SS: He's in the hall.
GK: I know that intellectually but ----- And I have a feeling that as soon as we ------ you know -------Josh is going to come barging through the door asking if he can take the car in the morning.
TR (REVERB): You spoil that kid rotten, that's your problem. You give him every thing he wants, every toy, everything, so he never has to raise a finger to provide for himself. We sure never brought you up that way. We had the sense to teach you what it means to work for something.
GK: Dad?
SS: What?
GK: Nothing.
SS: What'd you say? "Dad"?
GK: Just thinking out loud.
SS: Well, stop thinking and come over here and put your arm around me.
GK: Okay.
SS: Nice music.
GK: Mmmmhmmmm.
SS: We don't spend enough time together like this. You know?
GK: I know.
SS: (PAUSE) You don't think that he'd plant a camera in our bedroom, do you? (PAUSE) Sorry.
GK: That's okay. It's not a camera. It's a motion detector.
SS: Are you sure?
GK: Yes. ----- Let me kiss you.
SS: Mmmmmmm.
(ALARM)
GK: Yeah, it's the motion detector. Who turned on the alarm system? I didn't. (BARE FOOTSTEPS) (DOOR OPEN) Josh???? Josh, turn off the alarm! Josh????? Why is the alarm on? MUSIC BUTTON)