GK: Did Josh go out tonight?

SS: Mmmmhmmm.

GK: Where?

SS: I don't know.

GK: You didn't ask him?

SS: No.

GK: Did you give him a time to be home?

SS: No.

GK: Why not?

SS: I didn't want him to give me that death ray look.

GK: So he went off with those weird people.

SS: Kids his age strive to be weird. It's their ambition. To freak out their parents.

GK: They looked like terrorists.

SS: The terrorist look is very big now.

GK: It's scary. And the girl. She looked like she was trying to identify with the homeless. Except I don't think the homeless wear black lipstick.

SS: Her name is Chrysanthe. She's a poet. He likes her poems.

GK: What does she write poems about?

SS: Death. Disfigurement. Decay. Dismemberment. That sort of thing.

GK: How do you know?

SS: I read her poems. He has them in his diary.

GK: You went in his room and read his diary?

SS: I did.

GK: I can't believe it. You went into your son's room and-

SS: I wanted to see how he's doing with spelling.

GK: How is he doing?

SS: T-e-r-b-l-e.

GK: His teacher said he was doing better this year.

SS: She was lying. There are people who got off the boat last week who write better English-

GK: What are we going to do? When you take the SATs, do you get to use Spell-Chek?

SS: I don't think so. To be perfectly honest, I don't think Josh is going to get into college.

GK: No?

SS: No.

GK: I thought he applied at Colby.

SS: Yes, but not the college. The cheese company.

GK: Cheese?

SS: He applied for a job as a cheese cutter.

GK: (SIGH) We did everything for him that we possibly could.

SS: You're right. We did.

SS: What's this music?

GK: Grieg.

SS: Grieg? I didn't know you liked Grieg.

GK: Neither did I. What're you reading?

SS: A novel.

GK: Any good?

SS: No.

GK: Then put it down ----

SS: Why?

GK: What's it about?

SS: Some woman who moves to Tuscany in search of love.

GK: No need to go to Tuscany, you've got everything you need right here.

SS: It's such a stupid book.

GK: If you're looking for stupidity ------

SS: What are you doing?

GK: Necking. How am I doing so far?

SS: I was glad to read his diary and find out that he really is interested in girls. ----- I think he meant girls. ----- He spelled it g-o-r-l-s.


GK: What is he doing here?

SS: Who?

GK: Rufus.

SS: He always comes in here.

GK: Lie down. I said, lie down.

SS: I am lying down.

GK: I'm talking to the dog. Lie down. And put your paw over your eyes. (DOG WHINING)

SS: Well, put him out in the hall if you don't want him in here.


SS: What happened to your pajamas?

GK: Took 'em off.
SS: Oh.

GK: (OFF) C'mon, Ruf. (DOOR OPEN, CLOSE) There.

SS: You hear anybody downstairs?


SS: Josh said in his diary that he doesn't believe in God anymore.

GK: Oh. Did he spell it d-o-g?

SS: No. He thinks there's no order in the universe, that we're living in chaos.

GK: If you can't spell, it's chaos, I suppose.

SS: He said that life is just a cloud of carbon molecules drifting through space.

GK: Maybe he meant carbonara mostaccioli.


GK: I love Grieg.

SS: Why are you turning the light off? I'm reading.

GK: Let me bring the story to life for you.

SS: What are you doing?

GK: You're so sexy when you feign disinterest----
SS: Mmmmmmm.----

GK: That's what attracted me in the first place. Your coolness.

SS: It excites you, doesn't it.

GK: Your indifference.

SS: It excites you so much.

GK: Your disdain.

SS: What did you say?

GK: Your contempt excites me.

SS: I'm sorry, I was thinking of something else----- what did you say?

GK: You're making me wild and you know it.

SS: Would you mind if I go make a phone call?

GK: Your indifference excites me and you know it.

SS: I'll be back in five minutes.

GK: I'm crazy about you.

SS: Okay, ten minutes.

GK: Hold me. Kiss me.

SS: Mmmmnnnnnnhhhhhmmm.

GK: Oh babes----

SS: Oh Bob----

GK: I love you----

SS: Oh Bob-----


TR (MUFFLED): Mom? Dad?

GK: Yes? (DOOR OPEN, SLIGHTLY) Don't come in.

TR (TEEN): You guys still awake?

GK: Yes-I said, don't come in.

TR (TEEN): So what are you guys doing in here?

GK: We were just lying here talking. Could you go away, Josh?

TR (TEEN): How come there are clothes all over the floor? Looks like my room. Are you guys hiding or something?

SS: Yes?

TR (TEEN): You okay?

SS: I'm fine. You all right, Josh?

TR (TEEN): I'm fine. Just wanted to let you know I'm home.

GK: Good. And you have. Would you mind going and closing the door?

TR (TEEN): I thought you'd want to know that I didn't get hit by a truck or anything.

GK: I know that. Now say goodbye.

TR (TEEN): What is UP? Why are you being so cold?

GK: Do you really want to know, Josh?

SS: Shhhhhhh.

GK: What?

SS: Don't. ----- Come in, honey.

GK: What do you mean, come in?

SS: Did you have a nice time?

GK: I was just about to---- yes.
SS: I'm talking to him.

TR (TEEN): Yeah. It was okay. We went over to Mike's house and watched movies.

SS: What about Chrysanthe?

TR (TEEN): What about her?

SS: I thought you two were an item.

TR (TEEN): No, we broke up.

SS: Oh. I thought you liked her.

TR (TEEN): Yeah, I don't know. She was kind of weird.

GK: Why don't we talk about this in the morning?

SS: What was weird about her?

TR (TEEN): I don't know. She was just kind of intense, you know? And she smoked cloves.

GK: Okay. Well, thanks for sharing that with us. Always nice to know what's going on--..

TR (TEEN): Hey, no worries. What're you listening to?

GK: It's Elton John.

TR (TEEN): Oh. Okay.

GK: Good night, Josh.

TR (TEEN): Okay, dad----




GK: Oh for mercy sakes. He let the dog in. (PANTING, COLLAR JINGLING) Oh for crying out loud. (BEDSPRINGS) ------ Rufus---- come here. I said come here. Where are you? Rufus----- (CRACK) Ohhhhhhhhhh. (PAIN) Ohhhhh that hurts. (DOG WHINE) Oh shut up. Come here. I said come here. (PANTING) Rufus, just because you're bitter about being neutered doesn't mean you have to make it rough for me. Come here. (WHINE) Gotcha. Come on. Come on. Out you go. (DOOR OPEN) Go to bed. (DOOR CLOSE) ----- (BARE FEET PADDING, BEDSPRINGS). Honey? You're not asleep, are you? (SS HEAVY SLOW BREATHING) You're not really asleep, are you? Honey----- (SS SLIGHT SNORT)