We're all Republicans now
We've all come around somehow
The liquor is free
In the G.O.P.
We're all Republicans now
We are for hard work and thrift
Though of course we don't mind a gift
We stand for family and country and God,
Don't mess with us or we'll declare a jihad
If you don't like it, Canada is that way
Don't complain to the press, they've got nothing to say
They're Republicans
They're all Republicans
We're all Republicans now.

© Garrison Keillor 2003