(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
(DUET: YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE CHORUS)
SS: I ran into that woman from your office at the liquor store today----
GK: Oh?
SS: The woman with the big hair and the voice like a car alarm?
GK: I have no idea who you're talking about.
SS: Well, she certainly knows all about you. She asked about your trip to Chicago. And then she asked if you and I were still together.
GK: Really?
SS: Why would she ask that?
GK: I don't know. What did you say?
SS: What do you mean, "What did I say?" I said, "Of course we're together." What were you hoping I'd say?
GK: Well----
SS: Why would she ask a question like that?
GK: I don't know--.I barely know her.
SS: Look at me.
GK: What?
SS: Are you okay?
GK: What do you mean? Of course I'm okay. I've never been okayer.
SS: Are you? Are you happy?
GK: Yes. Why do you look at me like that?
SS: You don't seem that happy.
GK: I've never seemed happy, but I am. Really.
(DUET:
I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only do the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all someday.
SS: Do you like being married? To me, that is?
GK: Of course.
SS: Why?
GK: I like being with you.
SS: Really? When?
GK: Lying in bed together, reading. And waking up and seeing you there.
SS: What else do you like?
GK: I like that you take care of stuff I can't deal with. Like holidays, which I hate. Birthdays, which I never keep track of. Inviting people over for dinner. Anything involving other people, basically. Like talking to people who we've invited over. You know. Conversation. I never got the knack of doing that.
SS: I know.
GK: I'm just a good listener, I guess.
SS: Tell me more.
GK: I appreciate your small motor skills. And you're good with money. You tell me when I need a haircut or I need to go upstairs and put on a different pair of pants. I like that we don't have those miserable fights that some people have.
SS: What do you mean we don't fight? Of course we do.
GK: No, we don't.
SS: We fight. You didn't know that? Where have you been?
GK: We don't fight any more than anybody else.
SS: I didn't say we held the world record, but we fight----
GK: A little.
SS: We'd fight more if I thought I could say what I really think----
GK: What is that supposed to mean?
SS: The way you describe our relationship. "Small motor skills"? Telling you when to get a haircut?
GK: Never mind. I'm sorry I said anything. My mistake.
SS: Oh, now you're going to go into your silent routine.
GK: I was trying to tell you I love you and I guess it wasn't good enough.
SS: Mr. Passive Aggressive.
GK: I don't know what you mean.
SS: I know you don't.
GK: Everytime I try to talk about this stuff ---- we always get into a fight----
SS: "This stuff" ---- now we're a bunch of stuff????
GK: It just seems so useless ---- this sort of bickering---- it doesn't lead to anything----
SS: I'm tired, I'm going to sleep.
GK: Well, don't be mad.
SS: I'm not.
GK: You are. I can tell you are.
SS: You're wrong.
GK: I love you.
SS: Good. Good night.
GK: Do you love me?
SS: Of course.
(DUET: The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping,
I dreamt I held you in my arms,
When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.
CHORUS: YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE
© Garrison Keillor 2003