(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
GK: This portion of our show is brought to you by Idea Uncomfortable Lawn Chair.
It's summer now and that means people will be dropping by and you're sitting in your backyard enjoying the peace and quiet and you'll offer them a beer and they'll say, "Well, sure, but just one" and four hours and six beers later they finally unglue themselves from the chair and head for home and your Saturday afternoon is pretty much shot that you were planning to spend reading a book about World War II which they got one glance at and had to tell you about three books they read recently about D-Day ---- this doesn't happen when you outfit yourself with Uncomfortable Lawn Chairs from Idea ---- in subtle, nonconfrontational ways your Lawn Chair says, "Hit the road, buddy. Pick up the load and get moving." In fifteen minutes, your guests will be standing up and jingling their car keys, saying they have some shopping to do.
Our chair incorporates the same design principles as a Lutheran church pew and is make of highly-polished sheet metal that can reach 200 degrees Fahrenheit in just seconds. If it's ever stolen, it will come back in three days like a boomerang. Buy four Uncomfortable Lawn Chairs and get, free, one deluxe redwood reclining Host's chair, with cushions, umbrella, and adjustable arm that holds your book open right before your eyes so you don't drop it when you doze off. Perfect for Father's Day.
From Idea. The Smarter People.
© Garrison Keillor 2003