(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
GK:----we'll be right back after this message from the United States Treasury.
TR (BUSH): My fellow Americans. I'd like to take a moment to talk to you about your financial future. These are uncertain times for the stock market and that's what makes United States War Bonds such a great investment. There's no better bet than armed conflict, and so the United States Treasury is issuing some 90-day bonds and also some 30-day and 7-day for your investment needs. Or purchase war options: you put your money in now and if we are in a conflict within thirty days, your money is doubled. Don't miss out on this great opportunity. Yes, we're in a little lull right now, but we'll be back at it soon. Help us fight the asses of evil. And do something good for yourself. You'll be glad you died.
GK: A message from the United States Treasury.
© Garrison Keillor 2003