GK:----brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board. (MUSIC)
SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. Our lawn is looking better now that the neighbor's dog died and our kids are off living their own lives. Jim Jr. changed his name to Khalil when he shaved his head and went into the commune and he seems to be doing okay. At least he isn't setting garages on fire. Our daughter has covered herself with tattoos and she is dating a guitarist, but she's on her own and we don't interfere. So we should have been happy. And then last week I found Jim sitting in the kitchen with a cold can of beer. ---- Honey, what's wrong? You don't drink beer. You gave that up years ago.
TR: I know. I'm just feeling a little wistful. Fishing season starts this weekend and I'm not there.
SS: Oh, honey. You weren't happy fishing. You know that! Painting that boat every year, getting it on the trailer, spending the weekend getting drunk with my brother who kept trying to tell you how to fish. You didn't enjoy it.
TR: You're right, Barb. And yet --- I miss my tackle box. Opening it up and seeing all those lures in there, all the feathers and hooks. And doggone it, I miss the feeling of a nightcrawler in the palm of my hand.
SS: Well, you can hold a nightcrawler if you want. Come out back and we'll sit on the patio and you can hold a worm and I'll read my book.
TR: You don't want to go out to dinner ---- it's Mother's Day.
SS: Honey, what I want for Mother's Day is what every mother wants. Peace and quiet. Sit and read a book and not have to get dressed up and not have to answer the phone and talk to guilty people.
TR: But you used to want the kids to come around for Mother's Day----
SS: And then I started eating more ketchup, Jim. Kethcup contains natural mellowing agents that help a person realize it when you've got things really good. What do you say we fix us a ketchup sandwich?
RD (SINGS): These are the good times, we overthrew Saddam.
Let's all go fishing and then go to the Prom.
Take a bottle of ketchup to your Mom.
GK: Ketchup. For the good times.
RD (SINGS):Ketchup--..Ketchup--..
GK: A message from the Ketchup Advisory Board.
© Garrison Keillor 2003