(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman; RD: Rich Dworsky)
GK:--.brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.
SS: These are the good years for Jim and me. Jim's company transferred him to Phoenix even though the company has no office here and we bought a condo and waited around for instructions and a year passed and finally we decided to just keep on cashing the checks and accept the situation and be grateful. Or I decided to. But one day, I found Jim sitting on the patio with his head in his hands----- What's wrong, honey?
TR: Just feeling bad, Barb.
SS: How can you feel bad? It's February? It's in the 70s?
TR: Wonderful weather doesn't change who a guy is down deep, Barb.
Somehow, when you're in Minnesota and it's forty below and the snow is
blowing and frozen snot is hanging from your nose and you can't feel your
fingers or toes, the fact that you're an ignorant jerk isn't all that
important. But you come down here and it's beautiful and warm and you
walk outside in your shorts and T-shirt and sandals ----
SS: ---- and you suddenly become aware of your flawed personality.
TR: I'm just a big old galoot with an over-powered car and a peabrain view of the world and the personal charm of a potted cactus.
SS: Well, we all have our limitations.
TR: Somehow being in paradise makes me terribly aware of personal shortcomings.
SS: Maybe ketchup can help. Ketchup contains natural mellowing agents that stimulate seratonin production and make you feel good about yourself even if you are an ignorant jerk. And it's better to be a relaxed jerk than an uptight one.
TR: I suppose that's true.
RD: This is the good life, the blessings it has brought us,
Painting and ballet and Beethoven sonatas
Life is flowing like ketchup enchiladas,
GK: Ketchup. For the good times--
RD: Ketchup--ketchup.
© Garrison Keillor 2003