(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)
TR: If you suffer from lower back pain, and by the looks of you, most of you do, Low Frequency Sound (BASS STEADY NOTE) can help. High Frequency Sound can lead to paranoia and violence. Just look at The Sopranos. You need low sound. (BASS) Achieve total relaxation through the Acoustic Couch (DEEPER BASS NOTE) with built-in bass speakers. It's a recliner molded in the shape of Deepak Chopra with a powerful bass sound that relaxes tense muscles (FN PLEASURE), cleans harmful plaque from your teeth (FN SMILE), kills cockroaches and mice (FN CHUCKLES), stimulates the growth of hair (FN: WOW), dissolves kidney stones (FN SURPRISE AND PLEASURE), jogs your memory (FN: Natasha. That's her name.), and relieves chronic constipation (FN SURPRISE, AND FAST FOOTSTEPS FADING AWAY). The Acoustic Couch----.you pay more, but then you knew you would. (BASS FILIGREE AND BUTTON)
© Garrison Keillor 2002