(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newman)

GK:--..brought to you by Fred Farrell Edible Clothing.

TR: This is Fred Farrell. Seven inches of snow in New York City and millions are trapped in the city as Californians watch live coverage of the tragedy on CNN enjoying the horrible images of devastation and suffering while drinking Chardonnay on their decks. It could happen again! Time to stock up with my Fred Farrell edible tablecloths and dresser scarves ---- chewy caramel with 11 different protein supplements. Or this Cheddar-flavored rug. Or this beef jerky vest and beef Wellington boots and Chiquita bandanna. Next time you're stranded by several inches of snow, make sure you have some of my Edible Clothing and Textiles on hand. And sometimes you go to a party and, doggone it, people never put out enough food. When the hors d'oeuvres run out, just eat your sweater. It looks like wool but it's haggis. And underneath is a parsley shirt. I promise you'll love the taste ---- or I'll eat my hat. It's a baked beanie. (CHUCKLES)

GK: Fred Farrell Edible Clothing. Wherever edible clothing is sold.

TR: And ask for your edible cigarettes. They're gefilte. (BUTTON)

© Garrison Keillor 2002