(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
GK: --- coming up later on many of these stations, another episode of Dismal Lives (ORGAN THEME)....
SS: Mother called. She's cut me off from the family finances, Josh. Tomorrow, the mortgage payment for Thornwood Manor comes due, and I won't be able to pay it. Unless---
TR: Unless what, Kimberley?
SS: No, I can't even bring myself to say it.
TR: I can't let you lose your home, Kimberley. To leave this beautiful place----?
SS: Perhaps David would give me the money----if I threaten to reveal that he forged Mother's name on the annuity check.
TR: Kimberley---- David is in the hospital. I just spoke with the Recovery Room. His amnesia got worse in the night and they had to operate and I'm afraid they didn't get it all.
SS: Amnesia---- But how? He was fine Thursday evening.
TR: He got it from eating a piece of fudge. I don't know how it happened.
SS: He got amnesia from your fudge?
TR: I didn't mean for him to eat it. He grabbed it off the dresser when he went up to Taylor's bedroom with Brittany during the Halloween Party.
SS: But David didn't go upstairs. I was watching him. He was with his sister, Laura.
TR: That was Zach.
SS: No, David exchanged costumes with Zach.
TR: But Zach had already put on Colin's costume.
SS: The pirate outfit?
TR: Exactly.
SS: So it was Zach who tried to inject me with the syringe.
TR: And it was Colin who went upstairs with Brittany.
SS: And David---- Oh my gosh. He was in the bunny suit?
TR: I guess so.
SS: Then it's his child I'm carrying, Josh. Not yours.
TR: David's?
SS: Yes. And there's one more thing. That birthmark on your cheek---
TR: You saw that?----
SS: I saw it as you were squatting down to fix the sink --- I saw your crack and there on your left cheek---- just as Mother told me----
TR: So now you know, Kimberley----
SS: You're my twin brother who Mother gave away thirty-two years ago, Josh.
TR: I was hoping you'd never know.
SS: What are you doing?
TR: I'm hypnotizing you, Kimberley----
SS: Josh--- I feel so strange----
TR: You and David are going to be together for the rest of your lives. In a nursing home. And I'll have Thornwood Manor.
SS: No! No!---- No... (ORGAN)
GK: That's later tonight, on Dismal Lives, on many of these stations
© Garrison Keillor 2002