(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)
(SFX TRAFFIC PASSING, SEMI HORN HARD AND DERISIVE)
GK: The average American spends 20 hours a week in his or her car. Twenty hours of mindless tedium with occasional outbursts of road rage and intense anxiety. (HORN HONKS) Why not use that time to make yourself feel better about yourself? With Mood Audio. It's like having a really nice person in the front seat with you.
SS: (ON TAPE): I love your hair that way. You look so young. And I love the way you drive. It makes me feel I can trust you. Completely. By the way, have you lost weight? You just look so sexy---- (RRRRR)
GK: Mood Audio. Why not start your day on a positive note?
TK (TEEN): I look up to you, Dad. You're my hero. I never said this before, Dad, but you were right. Everything you told me was right on the mark.
GK: Whatever makes you feel better about yourself---- we put it on tape so you can listen to it over and over and over-----
SS (ON TAPE): Your novel ---- it's---- it's absolutely brilliant. The dialogue just comes right off the page! The descriptions----- it's like I'm there. I laughed, I cried, I couldn't put it down---- it's the best thing since ---- well, there really isn't anything to compare it to. You're a genius. And by the way, have you lost weight?
GK: Mood Audio. Audio tapes that put you in a good mood:
TR: (HERB CARNEAL, ON TAPE) And Torii Hunter hits a long fly ball to left center ----- it's deep ----- the centerfielder is going back, back ----- it's------- it's a HOME RUN! THE MINNESOTA TWINS HAVE WON THEIR THIRD WORLD SERIES!
GK: Mood Audio makes you feel better. It's like having a couple
glasses of wine and still having your motor skills. Get Mood Audio wherever
you buy your aromatherapy candles. And seriously ---- have you lost weight?
You really look a lot thinner---- (MUSIC OUT)
© Garrison Keillor 2002