(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; TK: Tom Keith)


TR: If you're tired of painting and re-painting your house, why not try fur----not wood fir, but real fur. Thanks to bio-genetic engineering, you can cover your house in authentic animal fur for a beautiful maintenance-free exterior that will regenerate for a lifetime.

TK: Great fur on your house, Chuck. Was it hard to install?

TR: Not at all, Vern. I just applied the DNA with a roller brush and sprayed on the nutrients and watched it grow.

TK: What kind of fur is it?

TR: Bison. A good cold-weather animal. And with what we've saved on our heating bill, we've bought a second home in Provence.

TK: What about maintenance, Chuck? Fur must be hard to take care of.

TR: It's practically maintenance-free, Vern. The house sheds in the spring and the hair is great fertilizer in our flower beds. In the fall, you have to spray for ticks. Nothing to it. It's easy.

TK: How do the neighbors feel about you having a fur-covered house, Chuck?

TR: We were never that friendly with our neighbors, Vern. So it's not a problem.

TK: Maybe I should think about fur.

TR: It comes in bison, zebra, timber wolf, and beaver, Vern. And it's guaranteed for as long as you own your home, or until the next Ice Age. That's right. And deliverymen have no problem finding your house.

GK: Isn't it about time you enjoyed the easy life? Get some genetically engineered siding for your home.

TR:--and fur-get about maintenance.