(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newmann; MT: Mark Thomsen)
GK: ......this portion of our show brought to you by Bella Amorosa, the pizza of passionate romance.
MT: (O SOLE MIO)
It comes with onions
And extra cheese
Pepperoni
If you please ---
It knocks your socks off
And your pants.
It is the pizza
Of romance!
MT: I cannot sleep, I cannot eat --- I am tortured. Come away with me, Esmeralda.
SS: How can we be doing this? I'm so ashamed! And yet--- I love you so much. I can't live without you! (KNOCKS ON DOOR)
MT: Who is that?
SS: My husband!
MT: Oh my God.......(BIG BREAKAGE OF WOOD AND GLASS)
TR: Aha!!! I thought so!! You ---- you thief! You traitor! You big dummy, you!
SS: I can't help myself! I love him, Rico!
MT: What are you saying???? I'm Rico!!! He's Fred!!
TR: I'm Frederico!!
SS: I am so confused.
MT: But I'm Rico!! I'm your lover!
SS: I'm sorry. I am so mixed up. I thought you were Ricardo.
MT: I am Rico!!!
TR: Oh yeah? Well, take that! (THRUST OF SWORD, INTO FLESH. TR GROAN) Now you're Rico on a stick---- (CRUEL LAUGH)
SS: How could you do it???? He's dead.
MT: Almost. Not quite. I can still sing.
(O SOLE MIO)
So eat it busily,
Eat it happily,
Eat it in Sicily
Or in Napoli.
One life
And then we die.
So please enjoy
Our pizza pie.
© Garrison Keillor 2002