(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; RD: Richard Dworsky: KC: Kristin Chenoweth)
RD (sings): We're all reaching out toward each other
All trying so hard to find
A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.
GK: Nice day today.
KC: It sure is.
GK: Shame to spend it indoors.
KC: Yeah.
GK: Especially in a urologist's waiting room.
KC: Right.
GK: You know what they say --- a good day is any day when you don't have to go to a urologist.
KC: Oh. I never heard that.
GK: Yeah. But when you've got to go, you've got to go.
KC: Right.
GK: You been going to Dr. Chenoweth for a long time?
KC: He's my dad.
GK: He is----?
KC: Right.
GK: Oh. I just assumed you were---
KC: No. He and I are going out to dinner. You're his last patient.
GK: So you've never had a problem-----
KC: No.
GK: Well, you're lucky.
KC: It helps to drink plenty of water every day.
GK: Right. I'm sure.
RD (sings): We're all reaching out toward each other
All trying so hard to find
A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.
GK: It's so odd to hear Beatles songs on Muzak.
KC: Oh. Is this the Beatles?
GK: Yeah. "Here Comes The Sun." George wrote it.
KC: Were there three Beatles or were there more than three?
GK: Four.
KC: Oh. And George was one of them, I guess.
GK: He was. Yes. I had a friend who was almost a carbon copy of George.
KC: I always wondered ----- What is a carbon copy? Is that like carbon dating? I mean, carbon is like---- coal, right?
GK: Right. It ---- it refers to carbon paper. What you used when you wanted to type more than one copy---- when we had typewriters. You'd put this black sheet in between two white sheets. Shiny side under, so when the typewriter key hit the top page, it----- never mind. Not important.
KC: I think I saw that in a movie once. Where Richard Gere is a Navy cadet.
GK: "An Officer and A Gentleman."
KC: Right. We watched that in this history course I took on the Eighties. In college.
GK: There's a history course on the Eighties?
KC: Sure. I took one on the Thirties, one on the Fifties, and one on the Eighties. They were sort of companion courses.
GK: Nice.
RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.
GK: You know, speaking of movies---- I hate to ask this, and I don't mean to invade your privacy, but I've got to ask ----- didn't I see you in that Broadway musical, "Let's Do A Show"?
KC: Right.
GK: You're Kristin Chenoweth? Really?
KC: Yes.
GK: You are? I can't believe it. I mean, I saw the name of the urologist, I wondered. That's incredible. That was my favorite Broadway musical since I don't know when ----- you were great in that---- that opening number---- my gosh---- Hey kids, let's do a show, I know a place where we can go, where a million lights are as bright as day, And the name of the street is old Broadway. Well---- I guess you know it, right?
KC: Right.
GK: I went to see that show four times. It just meant something to me, it's hard to explain. It just made me extremely happy ----
KC: Well, that's great.
GK: I'd walk out of the theater singing ---- Moon over Manhattan, I'm throwin' my hat in the air. I'll shout hip hurray to the folks on Broadway, All around Times Square.
KC: That's nice you remember it. (PAUSE) You sing that very well. (PAUSE) What do you do for a living?
GK: I'm in radio.
KC: Really----
GK: Yeah. I do a radio show.
KC: You do that around here?
GK: Yeah. Here and other places.
KC: What's the name of it?
GK: Well, you wouldn't have heard it.
KC: What's it called?
GK: You're too young. You wouldn't know about it.
KC: But maybe I do. What sort of show?
GK: Oh, you know. Music. Stuff.
KC: What's the name of it?
GK: You wouldn't have heard it. It's not your kind of thing.
KC: Just tell me the name of it.
GK: It's not important.
KC: What's the name?
GK: It's "A Prairie Home Companion."
KC: Oh. (PAUSE) It sounds nice. (PAUSE) When is it on?
GK: It's on Saturdays.
KC: And it's a record show?
GK: Well, not really.
KC: What kind of music?
GK: Oh. Different things. You know.
KC: What station?
GK: It's on different stations. Public radio. You know. Without the commercials.
KC: Oh, right. Is this the show where the two guys talk about cars?
GK: No, it's not that one. It's a different one.
KC: Well, I'm sure it's wonderful. I hope I can hear it someday.
GK: Sure.
RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind.
GK: Wasn't I reading about you in the paper, that you're going to do "The Music Man" on television?
KC: In the fall, yes. Around Thanksgiving.
GK: And you're going to play Marian Paroo.
KC: Right.
GK: That's one of my favorite musicals. Meredith Wilson. Lida Rose, and Goodnight My Someone, and the Wells Fargo Wagon and Til There Was You. "You got trouble my friends, trouble I say, trouble right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool." Great musical.
KC: It is great. It was my grandfather's favorite musical. I suppose because he was young when it came out. I think the music you hear when you're young is the music that really sticks with you, don't you?
GK: Yes. I suppose.
KC: I mean, like with me, it's Alicia Keys. You know? She's incredible. "Fallin'" ? That's her big hit.
GK: I don't think I've heard it.
KC: You don't know Alicia Keys?
GK: No.
KC: You've heard of Phish, though?
GK: What do you mean?
KC: The band Phish? Trey Anastasio?
GK: I don't think so.
KC: The Dave Matthews Band? No?
GK: No.
KC: They're huge.
GK: Really.
KC: "Ants Marching"? "What Would You Say"? "Crash"?
GK: I missed it, I guess.
RD (sings): A reason to love one another,
The bond that unites humankind
KC: He was from Iowa, you know. Meredith Wilson. Who wrote "The Music Man."
GK: Right. Iowa.
KC: I grew up listening to my grandpa's recording of that show. And I always wanted to see Iowa. Have you ever been out there?
GK: I have, yes. Once or twice. Nice part of the country.
KC: It just seems so...wholesome. White houses, elms, picket fences---
GK: Right.
KC: Where are you from?
GK: France.
KC: France!
GK: Right. The middle of France.
KC: You seem so American.
GK: Well, I love your country, I love your language, I went to a lot of movies.
KC: I thought you said your show was called "Prairie Home Companion"----
GK: No, no. "Paris Home Companion".
KC: So you do a radio show in French?
GK: Oui. Tres bien.
KC: And you do it from here?
GK: Oui.
KC: Why would you do a French show in the U.S.?
GK: Well, it's hard to explain in English. Quelle est la place la moins chere, we would say. Hard to translate that exactly-----
KC: I majored in French in college. What did you say again?
GK: You majored in French?
KC: I go back every year to keep up my vocabulary----
GK: Ehhh. Tres bien.
SS: The doctor will see you now, Mr. Wyler.
GK: Wonderful. Great. Nice talking to you-----
KC: Same here.
SS: Have we emptied our bladder in the past hour, Mr. Wyler?
GK: Yes, ma'am.
KC: What time is your show on?
GK: It's on late. Very late.
SS: And have we evacuated our bowels today, Mr. Wyler?
GK: Uh. No.
KC: Midnight?
GK: Later than that.
SS: I'd like you to take this little plastic cup, Mr. Wyler, and give me a specimen.
GK: Yes, ma'am. ---- Bye.
KC: Bye. Good luck.
RD (sings): It's a time to come together,
A time for all people to see
The bonds that unite one another
In perfect harmony.
© Garrison Keillor 2002