(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott; TR: Tim Russell; FN: Fred Newmann)
GK: Secession has raised its head in Los Angeles. In November,
voters will decide whether the San Fernando Valley will break off and become a separate city. If it does, the Valley would become America's sixth largest city. L.A. residents on this side of the hill don't know much about what's over there, so----
TR (ANNC): LET'S MEET THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY.
(MUSIC)
TR: On the other side of the Santa Monica Mountains lies a fertile crescent unknown to most city-dwellers. Let's go over the hill, past Mulholland Drive, and head down through the canyons. (JEEP GUNNING ITS ENGINE) Coldwater Canyon and Laurel Canyon - gigantic abysses that plunge nearly four miles between jagged rocks and stunning waterfalls, teeming with wildlife (WHOOPS OF PLEASURE) and also rare birds (SCREECH) and coyotes (BARK) that roam the patios and terraces in search of household pets. (MEOW). At last we reach the floor of the Valley.
(RURAL THEME)
TR: Miles of verdant fields, walnut groves, and citrus farms, stretch as far as the eye can see, tended by sturdy men and women in bib overalls.
SS: Git! (CHICKEN) I said, Git! (CHICKEN) Yer sposed to be free-range! So git out there and range! (CHICKEN FLURRY)
TR: And here are the herds of goats that supply yoghurt for Beverly Hills. (GOATS)
(WESTERN THEME)
TR: Farther into the Valley, on the great ranches, (CATTLE) cowboys tend the cattle who supply the leather for Prada bags.
(JUNGLE THEME)
TR: Beyond the ranches, in the area known as Encino, indigenous peoples track wildlife. (JUNGLE BIRDS AND ORANGUTAN) Miles of unspoiled jungle, dotted with jaguars and great apes: Tarzana. The name says it all. (FN TARZAN CRY) It's a great vast wide-open frontier, the San Fernando Valley, where a man is a man and a woman can be if she wants to and should this beautiful region win the independence that proud men have fought and died for for hundreds of years, or should it remain under the oppressive thumb of the hopeless bureaucrats of the city? In November, we'll find out...when once again we will MEET THE SAN FERNANDO VALLEY. (MUSIC OUT)
© Garrison Keillor 2002