(GK: Garrison Keillor; SS: Sue Scott: TR: Tim Russell, TK:Tom Keith; RD: Rich Dworsky)

(WARM MUSIC)

GK: ........If you're looking for a home in a comfortable place with a lot of nice people, why not try Good Old St. Paul. Yes, St. Paul. If life where you are seems stressful----

SS: (HYPER) We don't have coffee, sir. We have espresso, cappucino, latte, mocha, americano, andante, molto allegro, presto, or double presto. We have that in the Regular, the Grande, the Il Duce, or Conquistadore sizes. Caf or decaf. Eighty-six different flavorings. Up there on the board. What'll it be? Make your selection. Other professional people with cellphones are waiting.

TR: Whatever you got handy. Make it easy on yourself. Makes no difference to me. Caf or decaf --- either way. Milk if you got some close by. Otherwise, no problem.

GK: Good Old St. Paul for Easy Living. It's a place where people aren't obsessed with coffee. Or compulsive about communication.

SS: So what do you hear from your daughter?

TR: Not much.

SS: How's she doing?

TR: Fine, I suppose.

SS: You ever talk to her?

TR: We called her on Christmas. Well----spose I better be heading home. The wife's gonna be wondering where I been all afternoon.

SS: You want to use the phone?

TR: Naw. She's probably sleeping.

SS: You keeping pretty busy?

TR: Naw. Things've been pretty slow.

SS: You ever get over to Minneapolis?

TR: Went there for dinner about a year ago. Five bucks for parking. Still had to walk about six blocks. Restaurant was all sort of grayish. Blank walls, wood floors, and the waiters were all snooty. Six bucks for a little glass of beer. And $28 for four pieces of pork about the size of silver dollars, served on a cup of rice, on a white plate about two-and-a-half feet in diameter, with swirls of green foam or something on it. Boy. Ya'd expect a steak for that kinda money. Afterward we went to this play where these people sat around in their underwear in a pile of junk and talked about something, it was hard to tell what, so we left at intermission and came home and popped some popcorn and played pinochle. Hadn't played pinochle for a long time. It's a fun game. Joanne and Larry dropped by. We stayed up until nine-thirty, playing cards.

GK: That's the gospel truth: Good Old St. Paul for Easy Living......you eat good food, you have one phone, you do things that are fun, you go to bed early, and there's never a parking problem. (BOAT HORN) On the banks of the Mississippi.

© Garrison Keillor 2002