(GK: Garrison Keillor; TK: Tom Keith: TR: Tim Russell; SS: Sue Scott)
......coming up later on many of these stations, Back When Things Were Different, with Uncle Jeb the Old Storyteller and another thrilling tale of life in the Old West. (OLD WEST THEME, UNDER)
TR (GABBY): Yessir, young uns, this is your Uncle Jeb settin down on the front porch with another story for you. Excuse me, young whippersnappers. (HE HAWKS AND SPITS A WAD, DING OF THE SPITTOON). Some of you have asked me about this here fur vest I wear --- and when people ask me about it, I like to say, What fur? Get it? What fur. Little joke. Anyways, back when I was your age, wearing fur wasn't a fashion statement, it was a way to show your place in the food chain. In those days it was wear or be worn. And Laramie started out as a trading post for trappers. There was a fort here called Fort John. It was a rest stop on the Oregano Trail that all those Italian pioneers followed on their way to San Francisco to open up restaurants. Later, Laramie was a way station for the Pony Express, the service you used when it absolutely, positively had to be there this month or next. And then came the Union Pacific railroad and then came Big Bud, the famous desperado and gunslinger. He challenged me to meet him at high noon on the main street of Laramie and resolve things once and for all. I said, Bud, noon isn't good for me, I got a dental appointment, how about twelve-thirty. He said I can't make twelve-thirty, I gotta lunch date then. He said, could you make it at eleven? I said, at eleven I'm supposed to meet with the schoolmarm, how about one-fifteen. He said, Maybe I could move my lunch date up and meet you at one-thirty. Let me check on that and he was looking at his datebook and I shot him and I stole his datebook and I got Miss Lucy's phone number out of it and the names of other girls and, boy, that was about the best summer I ever had. Yessirree bob. That was back in the early days, young timers. Back when things were different. (HE HAWKS AND SPITS AND COUGHS A HACKING COUGH).....
....Uncle Jeb, the Old Storyteller, coming up later on many of these stations on Back When Things Were Different.
© Garrison Keillor 2001, with material from Dan Fiorella