(GK: Garrison Keillor, TR: Tim Russell, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith)
GK: Elaine Willamette, Indiana housewife, mother, and electrical engineer on how to cope ----
SS: How do I cope with raising four kids while working a 60-hour week and keeping myself fit while being involved in my community and maintaining a passionate love life while writing a novel in my spare time? First of all, I fix dinner in advance --- six months' worth -- and to simplify laundry we all wear identical blue jumpsuits, and the kitchen and bedrooms have stainless steel floors. The kids live in barracks that's fenced off from the house and surrounded by an electric fence. I've learned to multi-task ---- when I take the bus to work in the morning I always bring an ironing board. And I use a lot of drugs.
TR: Yes, if you're not using drugs now, maybe you should be.
GK: But I don't know which drugs would be good for me, Doctor.
TR: Try some on weekends when you don't have to be anywhere for a couple days. See which ones make you feel a lot better.
GK: But how do I know I'm getting the drugs I need?
TR: Try a multipurpose drug like PRI.
GK: PRI? What does that stand for?
TR: Prozac, Rogaine, Viagra.
GK: That's PRV.
TR: Who cares? Whatever! Don't be so anal. If you are, we have something for that too. Try it. If you don't like it, try something else.
GK: A message from the American Pharmaceutical Foundation.
(c) 2001 by Garrison Keillor