(GK: Garrison Keillor, TR: Tim Russell, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith)
GK: We had an ice storm here this week and if the audience here seems a little down, that may be why. An ice storm is a lot of excitement for one week, even if it was on Monday. To local television meteorologists, this ice storm was red meat. You'd think that immense icicles were about to rain down from heaven. You'd think we were supposed to take shelter in school basements and open up those canisters of K-rations left over from the Cold War. Let me tell you what an ice storm is: it's rain showers. If it rains in January, the rain gets to be called an ice storm. A friend from Minneapolis was supposed to come over on Monday night and she called the day before and said--
SS: I don't think it's a good idea.
GK: You're canceling a trip of about eight miles because of a weather forecast?
SS: Well, it says on the news that they're canceling a lot of after-school activities and meetings and things, so ---- I just don't think it's a good idea.
GK: You're canceling a short trip because you've heard that other people are canceling things? Does the name Chicken Little ring a bell?
SS: I don't think I should come over. (STING)
GK: This is not the Minnesota that I grew up in. The Minnesota I know is a Minnesota of heroes. Giants in the Snow. Here's the Minnesota I know.
TR (ON RADIO): .....winds gusting to 80 miles an hour, blowing and drifting snow, the Interstate is closed, hundreds of vehicles off the road, thousands stranded, and the Highway Patrol has issued a bulletin saying (CLICK)....
TK: HONEY, YOU NEED ANYTHING IN TOWN?
SS (OFF): YOU GOING INTO TOWN?
TK: YEAH, THOUGHT I'D HEAD IN AND PICK UP SOME PICTURE HOOKS.
SS: WELL, IF YOU'RE GOING IN, WOULD YOU MIND GETTING ME SOME RAISINETS?
TK: ANYTHING ELSE?
SS: NO. WHEN YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE BACK?
TK: I DONNO. FOUR OR FIVE HOURS. (STING)
GK: That's the Minnesota I know. The land of those squinty-eyed old-timers who suffered through warm weather, confused by comfort, and when the blizzard struck, (BLIZZARD) suddenly life had a purpose again.
TR: I'm going out, Lena.
SS: But where you going in this blizzard, Ole?
TR: I don't know. Out.
SS: But what are you looking for?
TR: I don't know. I'll know when I find it.
SS: But why go out in a blizzard?
TR: Because it's there.
SS: Well, so is the wall there.
TR: Thanks for reminding me. (HE GETS WOUND UP AND RUNS HEADLONG INTO WALL, CRACKING IT). (BRIDGE)
GK: That's a real Minnesotan. And this is the way weather used to be reported.
TR (ON RADIO): Tomorrow's forecast, fourteen feet of snow by morning, gale-force winds, and lows of thirty below. Don't forget to tie a rope to your ankle when you go out to do chores. That's the Nighttime Weather and this is Toivo Jensen, saying Bye now.
GK: And this is the way weather is forecast now. (FOLLOWING IS ALL BROADCAST TV AUDIO)
TR: (LIGHT ORGAN THROB UNDERNEATH, SUGGESTING RADAR) Channel 6 Weather Central is tracking the ice storm forecast for the Twin Cities----live Eye In The Sky radar shows scattered showers moving in from the west, let's go to the chopper (CHOPPER, FROM INSIDE COCKPIT)----Karen----
SS: Brent, we're in the eye of the storm right now and as we check out the Interstate it appears that traffic is moving more slowly and that there's more traffic heading out than heading into town----
TR: Do you get the sense of people fleeing the storm?
SS: It's hard to say, Brent.
TR: Thanks, Karen. Back to you in a minute. Now to Kevin, standing by live at the State Capitol.
TK: Hi, Brent.
TR: What's the mood in the capitol as this ice storm approaches the Twin Cities, Kevin? Is there a sense of panic underlying a surface calm? Is there a bunker mentality? A sense of fatalism? How would you describe it?
TK: I'd describe it as guarded optimism. Brent. I spoke with the commander of the National Guard and he says that in the event of a complete breakdown of power and water and public panic and anarchy, he would not hesitate to ask the President to send in federal troops.
TR: So the mobilization of federal troops is a possibility at this point---
TK: That's the impression we get here at the Capitol, Brent.
TR: Thanks, Kevin. And now let's go to our reporter live on Wabasha Street in St. Paul--- (TRAFFIC PASSING) Samantha, what's the mood there?
SS: Brent, from the folks I've talked to here, I get a sense of increasing apprehension and dread.
TR: Mounting panic---
SS: Yes. Many folks, when I tried to talk to them, turned away from me and refused---
TR: A sense of avoidance, too?
SS: ---to talk----- yes, a denial of reality, I think.
TR: A clinging to the illusion of normality?
SS: I think so, Brent. There definitely is that sense here. People trying to go about their business, almost as if, in the terror of the approaching desolation, they find comfort in following old and familiar routines.
TR: What will happen there if gigantic sheets of ice should fall from the sky, Samantha?
SS: No one can say for sure, but certainly the death toll would be less than it would be if most people weren't at work, in buildings, which presumably would absorb much of the impact of tons of ice hurtling down from thousands of feet in the sky.
TR: Are emergency crews on alert there?
SS: The ones we've seen were fully dressed and had their shoes and socks on, and some of them were standing and looking out the window, Brent----
TR: So they're ready to roll. Any safety recommendations?
SS: I think it's never too early to head for the basement and lie face down under a table, Brent.
TR: Good advice. But don't forget to take a TV with you, as our live coverage of Ice Storm 2001 continues, after this....(THROBBING ELECTRO DOCU-MUSIC)
GK: The great ice storm moved in in the form of rain. People drove a little more cautiously. The rain froze. The roads were salted and sanded. People who wanted to go places went and afterwards they came back. The folks who didn't come last Monday night are now scheduled to come over on Sunday, but we'll see. If it turns cold or if the wind comes up, I suppose they may have to take a rain check.
(c) 2001 by Garrison Keillor