(GK: Garrison Keillor, TR: Tim Russell, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, RD: Rich Dworsky)
GK: Coming up later on many of these stations, Dr. Wanda answers your questions about family relationships.
SS: Go ahead. You're on the air.
TR: Thanks. Uhm----- I think it's really great that you're taking up this whole topic of children of women married to the guy who killed their dad-----
SS: It's a problem that's a lot more common than people think. So your mom married your dad's killer?
SS: Tell us what happened.
TR: Well, my dad, after he married Mom, he like went off to war to avenge my uncle whose wife Helen had been stolen away by these people, okay? and when he went away, this other guy came and fell in love with my mom, you know? So when my dad came back from this war, you know --- and by the way, he brought his girlfriend with him, but anyway this guy was waiting and he killed my dad, and my mom cut my dad's head off with an axe, and then they got married, okay?
SS: What about your dad's girlfriend?
TR: They killed her too.
SS: I see.
TR: Did I mention that my dad sacrificed my sister to the gods? Anyway, he did.
SS: Your dad killed your sister, your dad who was then killed by the man who's married to your mother now----
TR: Right. And my other sister, whose name is Elektra, she's crazy as a jaybird, and I'm thinking about going home and avenging dad's death and killing my mom and her husband.
SS: It sounds like you're looking for closure.
TR: Actually I'm looking for a really good axe.
SS: So how have you been dealing with all of this----what's your name?
TR: Orestes. I'm okay but I really want to murder both of them.
SS: Have you spoken to a family priest or oracle?
TR: No, I haven't.
SS: I think you should. A good oracle can give you a better sense of what the outcome will be. And if I were you, I'd appeal to a god, like maybe Athena or Diana. And you may have to make some sacrifices.
TR: Thank you, Dr. Wanda.
SS: Good luck, Orestes.
GK: Dr. Wanda, coming up later on many of these stations,and brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.
RD (SINGS): When you're feeling down because your dad was killed by the guy who married your mom, Ketchup keeps you calm.
(c) 2001 by Garrison Keillor