(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)

(ORGAN CHORDS) TR (UNCTUOUS) : At this blessed season of the year, we at Park Avenue Ministries seek to bring a measure of joy into the lives of the very wealthy, many of whom are lonely and beset with anxiety about their investment portfolios and the prospects of a major tax cut, and many of whom suffer from a strong sense of public disapproval. That is why we have founded the Hamptons, as a retreat where the wealthy can find acceptance and understanding. That's why we sponsor the Helping Hands Helicopter Shuttle to enable our wealthy to get to the Hamptons. And that's why we are offering a 24-hour emergency drop-in counseling center for our wealthy, now that there may be a recount in Florida. America's extremely rich are our most misunderstood minority. Please do what you can to help. And thank you. (CHORDS)

(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor