(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
....after a word from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

TR: It was an October like any other October, a month when people go for a drive and look at the colors of the changing leaves and spend the night in a beautiful river town in a bed-and-breakfast in a beautifully restored Victorian house full of lovely furniture and lace doilies and potpourri dishes run by a couple named Don and Deborah who tell you how they decided one day to give up their hectic corporate life and retire to a small town and open a B&B and enjoy getting to know people, they are people persons. So you go to bed and think, What a great October this is, and the next morning, something is different. There's no hot water and you go downstairs for breakfast and Deborah brings in a box of Sugar Pops and a jar of instant coffee and you ask about the hot water and Don says, "Oh, quit your bellyaching, I'm sick of both of you." And you go for a walk around the little town and the sign in front of the Methodist church says "Tourists Not Welcome" and there's a sewage pipe pumping some sort of milky effluent into the river and Boy Scouts are leading old ladies into heavy traffic and leaving them there and people are vacuuming the leaves off the trees so they can get a clear shot at the chickadees and nuthatches, and you think, "Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not getting enough ketchup." So you go to lunch and have meatloaf and ketchup and pretty soon, everything is back to normal again. A paperboy rides by on his bike, whistling, and shopkeepers say, "Howdy, top of the morning," and geese fly over in a big V and you think, "Maybe I should quit my job and try my hand at writing songs." All the best that a ketchup can be.


These are the good times of autumn memories,
Campfires and wild geese and red and yellow trees.
Just like ketchup on your cheddar cheese.
GK: A message from the Ketchup Advisory Board.

RD: ....Ketchup....ketchup....ketchup.

(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor