(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell, RD: Rich Dworsky)
GK: ... brought to you by the Ketchup Advisory Board.

TR: These are the good years, for Barb and me. Barb found a new lipgloss that not only made her lips irresistible but also tasted good on crackers. The lawn mower broke and we decided to replace the lawn with colored gravel. And the children's therapist wrote to us and said they're doing better and no longer talking about moving back home. We should've been happy. And then, the other night, I woke up and there was Barb sitting up in bed, weeping. - ---Honey, what's wrong?

SS: Oh, Jim. I'm losing my mind.

TR: What's wrong?

SS: I've been trying to think of the name of that group that recorded "Goodnight, Sweetheart" ---- remember that song? (SHE SINGS) Goodnight, sweetheart, it's time to go. Bababababum...Goodnight sweetheart (SHE HUMS).....

TR: Sure. I remember. That was recorded by The Pompadours.

SS: No. It begins with a C. The Coasters? The Clovers?

TR: The Cadets.

SS: No. They did "Stranded In The Jungle"---- OH! it makes me so mad. I've been trying to think of it for the past hour.

TR: Well, just put it out of your mind until morning.

SS: I can't go to sleep until I think of it.

TR: How about the Bobbettes?

SS: No, they did "Mr. Lee".

TR: The Drifters.

SS: No, it's not the Drifters.

TR: You want me to call up your brother out in Sun City? He knows all those old groups.

SS: No, it's too embarrassing. ---- Oh, Jim. This is going to happen to me more and more, isn't it. I'm getting old.

TR: You're just fine.

SS: I'm not. I'm almost 50. And I've inherited my mother's butt.

TR: You haven't.

SS: I never thought I would but now I look back and it's there, following me.

TR: The Comets. The Crew Cuts.

SS: No, they did "Sh-Boom."

TR: The Chickadees. The Cockatoos.

SS: No, it's not a bird.

TR: How about Cream?

SS: No. ---- Wait a minute. It doesn't start with C.

TR: I'm calling your brother.

SS: No. ----The Shirelles. The Supremes. (SHE HUMS TUNE A LITTLE) Remember, they used to play this as the last dance. I'd look over at you dancing with your girlfriend Wanda and wonder what it was like to dance with you and then I'd look up at my boyfriend and he was----- the Spaniels.

TR: Who?

SS: The Spaniels recorded "Goodnight Sweetheart." Oh, that's a load off my mind. Now why can't I remember the name of my old boyfriend?

TR: You know what you need, Barb, is more ketchup. Ketchup has natural mellowing agents that help a person get through life's little frustrations and disappointments.

SS: You're so right, Jim.

RD (sings):
These are the good years, filled with memories,
Fresh and bracing as a mountain breeze
Fresh as ketchup on your cottage cheese.

GK: Ketchup....for the good times.

(c) 2000 by Garrison Keillor