(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
More after a word from Bertha's Kitty Boutique. (MUSIC UNDER, QUIET, BOUTIQUEY)
SS: Hi Pookey. Mommy's home. (MEOW) Did you miss your mama? Did you? (MEOW) Oh, yes, widdle puddycat misses his mommy, doesn't he - Oh my, yes. And Mommy misses her little Snuggums too. (SS NUZZLING MURMURS) Give Mommy a kiss, Pookey. Give Mommy a kiss.
No, not on the neck. Kiss Mommy on the lips. Come on. (SS PUCKERING) Ohhh! Good boy! Mommy wuvs you soooo much. Sooo much. And you know what Mommy brought for you? (MEOW) Mommy brought her puddycat a widdle birfday cake! Yes! A tuna birfday cake with salmon pate icing! (MEOW) (DOOR OPEN)
TR: Who you talking to in here?
SS: What do you mean?
TR: I heard you talking, I thought somebody was here.
SS: I was just talking to Mr. Pookey.
TR: Talking to the cat?? What's going on with you, Elaine? Is everything all right? (CHORDS)
GK: If you're devoted to your cat in ways that non-cat people can't understand, maybe you need to get away this summer to Bertha's Cat Ranch at Lake Leo in Montana. Montana is a big state that believes in leaving people alone to pursue their own way of life. If yours includes talking to your cat and dressing it up, you'll be among like-minded people at Bertha's Cat Ranch. (PIANO)
SS: Mr. Pookie, say hello to Mr. Muffin. (MEOW)
TR (BRIT): Mr. Muffin, that was Mr. Pookie, aren't you going to say hello back? Or are we going to be naughty? Come, come....(MEOW) That's better. And say hello to Mr. Pookie's mommy, too. (MEOW) Tell her she's pretty.
SS: Oh, thank you, Mr. Muffin. And you tell your daddy that if he wants to have a drink with Mr. Pookie's mommy, she'll be in the Cat's Pajamas around six o'clock, okay? (MEOW)
GK: It's a big state, Montana, and it's not just ranchers and miners, anymore.
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor