(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
TR: As a guy in his late forties, I'm starting to get that feeling that life is passing me by. I think of the things I've never experienced. I've never worn leather - except for my wallet - never shaved my head or picked a man up and thrown him down o n his back and stomped on his adam's apple. I've never carried a concealed weapon in the State Capitol. There's so much I haven't experienced. And that's why I've signed up for Jesse Ventura's Summer Camp for Liberals.
TK: D.I. ROUTINE
TR: As a modern, sensitive, caring guy, I tried to share feelings with my wife, but one feeling I never dared to share is my urge to take explosives and blow things up. (EXPLOSION) Little things and also big things. (MAJOR EXPLOSION) And a whole series of things. (STRING OF EXPLOSIONS) To go riding on a jetski (JETSKI SFX) across a lake and throw explosives into the water. (EXPLOSION UNDERWATER) (JETSKI SFX) To ride your jetski in close to shore and come real close to swimmers. (SS, GK CRIES OF TERROR, IN PASSING) Try to get the loons riled up. (LOON)
TR (JESSE): If you're a liberal and you're ready to do stuff you always wanted to do and didn't dare ask your wife for permission, come to my summer camp and we'll have fun like you never had before, rest assured.
GK: Call now for applications. Your camp brochure will arrive at your home in a plain brown envelope marked Save The Seals.
TR (JESSE): Hoo-ya!
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor