(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
We'll continue with tonight's show after a word from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS)
SS: Hi. Administrative assistant Melissa Maxwell here, with some tips on how to get ahead in the corporate world. Number one: be devastatingly beautiful, and number two, be incredibly enthusiastic, OHHH WOWWWW!! and number three, be unbelievably charming and smile all the way down to your tonsils - Hi, it's so great to see you - and number four, be organized, and when it comes to organization, you need duct tape! Yes! The problem with filing systems is, there's always way too much data in the system AND you've got to remember what word it was filed under, but you just hang a bunch of long strips of duct tape on your office wall and stick stuff to it, just the really important stuff, like the phone numbers of all the smart people in the company and the names and pictures of all the big shots and the names of their wives and kids and and a list of words that people use a lot and what they mean and a three-page report so if someone comes running in and says, "Where's that report?" you hand him this, and by the time he figures out that this isn't the report he wanted, you've got half an hour to write the other one. All you really need to know to be successful, you can store on one strip of duct tape.
GK: Thank you, Melissa Maxwell. Duct tape ... it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape. (DUCKS) A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
(c) 1999 by Garrison Keillor