(GK: Garrison Keillor, SS: Sue Scott, TK: Tom Keith, TR: Tim Russell)
GK: Say, men, has this ever happened to you? You're in an elevator and a stunning woman gets on. You're alone together as the elevator doors close. (ELEVATOR DING) You're just about to ask her what her sign is when -

SS: Excuse me, sir. I think you dropped your hair.

GK: Don't be a victim of runaway hairpieces. Tape your toupee with duct tape, and kiss humiliation goodbye. You can swim, shower, ride horseback, go dancing - without worry - Available in Brad Pitt Blonde, George Hamilton Brown, and new Post-Punk Purple. A message from the American Duct Tape Council (DUCKS).

(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor