GK: Fall is the time when mice try to move into your house, sort of like developers trying to come in and build condos, and you're entitled to kill them but you sort of hate to think about (SNAP) capital punishment in your own kitchen, even if it's poison (MOUSE PANTING) that dehydrates them and sends them outdoors to die - now there's a more humane way -
TR: That's right. Scientists have isolated a complex amino acid that makes mammals feel a need to seek out new territory. And they've combined this with a protein from the part of the DNA from a Canadian goose that tells them to fly. To make a drug called Miagra. Mice eat the pellets and (MOUSE EXCITEMENT) within hours you'll see them forming into a V and running as fast as they can on their hind legs (TINY FEET SKITTERING, RODENT CRIES) with their arms outspread trying to take off. They'll go for a mile or more before they die of a coronary. Cruel? I don't think so. To give a mouse a dream - even if it's hopeless - you've given that mouse something he'll remember for the rest of his life. Miagra. Comes in powder or pellet.
(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor