GK: The 4th of July is a great day in the history of American letters, as all English majors know ---- today is the birthday of Nathaniel Hawthorne, who wrote The Scarlet Letter. The day on which Henry David Thoreau left Concord and went to live in a cabi n by Walden Pond. And it's the day on which Walt Whitman published Leaves of Grass. None of them, Hawthorne, Thoreau, or Whitman, had any idea how many millions of term papers would be written about them, and certainly none of them ever dreamed that their books would inspire the three hottest summer movies this year in America.
(ELECTRONIC THEME)
TR (ANNC): He went to live in a cabin in the woods so he could enjoy solitude and live life and learn what it had to teach.
GK: Our life is frittered away by detail. We must simplify. Simplify.
TR (ANNC): But for Thoreau, nothing was simple after the gang came after him. (MACHINE GUN) The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation, but gangsters lead lives of loud desperation. And Thoreau was the man they were after. They thought he knew too mu ch. (GUNSHOTS)
GK: Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.
TK: Here's some truth for you, Fur Face. (MACHINE GUN) (EXPLOSIONS) (CAR CORNERING, SCREECH OF BRAKES. EXPLOSION. TK THROWS PUNCH. GK OOFF. ANOTHER PUNCH. GK ARGHH)
TR (ANNC): He marched to the tune of a different drummer, but one woman could make him face the music ----- Emily Dickinson.
SS (VIVIAN LEIGH): The Soul selects her own Society,
Then shuts the Door.
Let's go inside, Henry.
What are we waiting for? (THEME)
TR: Thoreau. A man as big as all outdoors. He went to the woods to find solitude, but instead he found violence (GUNFIRE. SHOUTS)---- cars blowing up (EXPLOSION), men getting blown out of windows (TK CRY, GLASS BREAKAGE), blazing lead (GUNFIRE), and giga ntic monster trucks (BIG MOTOR) coming straight at his cabin. (ENGINE REVVING UP) The story of a man who confronted life --- and transcended it. Walden: The Movie. Coming this summer to a theater near you. (THEME UP AND UNDER AND CROSS-FADE WITH WHITMAN T HEME)
CT: I celebrate myself and sing myself
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.
TR: He grew up in Brooklyn, but he was different. He was a poet.
CT: I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.
SS (MOM): I wouldn't mind if you mowed that grass instead of just observing it, Wally.
CT: I'm not a Wally. I'm a Walt. Why can't you get that ? (MUSIC UP AND.....)
TR: He published Leaves of Grass---- And then came the Civil War--- (DISTANT ARTILLERY)
GK: Whitman! Walter!
CT: Yes, sir! Whitman reporting for duty, sir.
GK: I'm sorry to tell you this, Whitman, but you've been rejected as cannon fodder by the Union Army.
CT: But why? I want to die, sir. I'm a poet. I need to die young. I've written all my best work and now if I can just die, I'll be huge. Bigger than Longfellow. If I live into old age, I'll just be an old poop. Like Emerson. (CHORDS)
TR: The Army didn't want him, but the Mafia did. They came after Walt Whitman with everything they had (GUNFIRE. SHOUTS)---- they blew up cars (EXPLOSION), they blew men out of windows (TK CRY, GLASS BREAKAGE), and gigantic monster trucks (BIG MOTOR) came straight at him. (ENGINE REVVING UP) But Whitman stood up to them.
CT: I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And I fill you full of lead, punk! (MACHINE GUNS, GANGSTER DEATH)
CT: Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself.
Take this! (GUNSHOTS)
TR: He was a poet, and yet he could also set off gigantic explosions. (EXPLOSION) And he could love like no other poet before or since.
CT: Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you, baby.
What do you say we hit the open road?
TR: Leaves of Grass ... the story of a poet and his lust for life and love even as he was able to blow away hundreds of guys at one time. (MORE EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE) Coming soon to a theater near you ...
(SCARLET LETTER THEME)
TR: She was shamed before the entire town. But she managed to hold onto her pride.
SS: Let them gossip about me. I will do my penance, helping the sick and poor, but I will never divulge the name of the father of my illegitimate daughter. Never.
TR: THE STORY OF ONE WOMAN, HESTER PRYNNE, AND HER FIGHT AGAINST THE HYPOCRISY OF PURITAN new ENGLAND --
GK: That letter - embroidered on your bodice - the A. (CROWD GASP, CHILL CHORD) What is that?
SS: It stands for Aliens. Space aliens. They've spoken to me. They've offered to publish my memoirs.
TR: Look -- those strange pod-like things on the trees -- (MUSIC UNDER)
SS: Those are my friends.
GK: Your memoirs!
SS: Yes, Reverend Dimmesdale --
GK: You're going to expose me as your lover and go on television to promote it. Why?
SS: It's not the 17th Century anymore. And a girl's got to look out for herself.
GK: What'll I do??? I'll die for shame.
TK: Look behind you, Dimmesdale.
GK: Who is it?
SS: My husband! Roger Chillingworth!!
TK: You'll die for shame all right. (BURSTS OF GUNFIRE. EXPLOSION. THEME UP UNDER AND ...
TR: A STORY OF HUMAN PASSION ... SHAME ... HONOR ... AND TREMENDOUS EXPLOSIONS. (EXPLOSIONS) Men getting blown out of windows (SFX) ... Monster trucks (SFX) ... THE SCARLET LETTER ... AS YOU'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT BEFORE ... opens July 4 in selected theaters. Check newspapers for showtimes.)
(c) 1998 by Garrison Keillor