....after a message from Autobiography Brand Coffee.

(LIGHT JAZZ BASS, PIZZ AND ARCO)

TR: I tasted the coffee in so-called coffee bars--- (HE SPITS IT OUT). I tasted the top-of-the-line coffee fresh ground from coffee specialty shops---- (HE SPITS IT, TO GET THE UNPLEASANT TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH). I went over to the homes of friends who swore that they had found the coffee to end all coffees and I tasted it and (HE SPITS EVEN BIGGER)----- And that was when I founded my own coffee company. I call it Autobiography, because it's so good, you're not going to like it. Because it's not a blend, and it's not dark-roasted, and it's not mellow, and it costs more money than you could afford because it comes from three acres on the south side of a mountain in central Ethiopia so there isn't even enough for you ----- understand? Autobiography Coffee is so good, only I could appreciate it. Beat it.

SS: Coffee snobbery at its ultimate.....Autobiography Coffee. You can't have it. (CHORD)

© 1998 by Garrison Keillor