.....after a word from the American Duct Tape Council. (DUCKS)
SS: Hi. Supermodel Cynthia Maxwell here, with a tip for women like me who must be devastatingly beautiful at all times or else die. Fashion is, like, it changes, you know? sometimes four or five times in the course of one evening ----- so--- you work on your look, the black lipstick, the white eyeshadow, and you get that exact right combination of blanched fragility and psychopathic angularity that is so now, so here, so us, and you go to the club and you're with your people and it's cool and then suddenly you get this feeling that now that whole fragility look is over, so you go to the ladies room and you've got fifteen seconds to do a total makeover, you don't want to leave your people time to start talking about you and about how over that whole fragility thing is now ---- so you've got to work fast, and that's why my choice for makeup removal is Duct tape. Press the strips of duct tape tight to your face and (RIP TAPE, FOUR TIMES) off comes the old look, and now you have the bruised waif look that's always in------ color the hair pink (SPRAY), a stripe of lipstick down your nose (SQUISH OF LIPSTICK), and a white plastic fork in your ear ---- there ---- fantastic. Thanks, duct tape.
GK: Thank you, Cynthia Maxwell. Duct tape....it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape. (DUCKS) A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
© 1998 by Garrison Keillor