(CHORDS OF GLOOM)

TK: I can't understand it ----- the harder I work, the worse everything gets ---- this fall is one disaster after another ---- I'm doing my best ---- and yet everybody's mad at me ---- What can I do?

TR: Well, you have two choices, Jim. Either you can keep doing your best and ruin everything. Or you can give it a rest.

TK: Give it a rest? But how?

TR: By putting yourself into storage for a month.....it's easy ---- with Swanson's Self Storage. So many people have found that life gets better after a month or two of Self Storage ---

TK: But I can't go into storage! Look at this work on my desk! Look at my calendar---- I've got meetings like crazy----

TR: It'll be okay.

TK: But I'm supposed to speak at these meetings.

TR: If you don't, someone else will.

TK: But who's going to run things? Are you sure about this? (DOOR CREAKS OPEN)

TR: Positive.

SS: You go down there, Mr. Ingebretson, and lie down on the shelf.

TK: Okay. (FOOTSTEPS DOWN STAIRS, INTO REVERB) Which shelf should I lie on?

SS: Any shelf, Mr. Ingebretson.

TK (REVERB): Okay.

SS: Get yourself comfortable. Just relax.

TK: (REVERB) Okay.

SS: I'll be back to get you in four weeks, okay?

TK: (REVERB) Okay. See you then.

SS: Bye. (CLOSE DOOR)

TR: Swanson's Self Storage.....sometimes the way to make things better is to do nothing at all. (MUSIC OUT)

© 1997 by Garrison Keillor