Put on the soup and tea
No big dinner for me
I did Thanksgiving last year, I can't do it again
Mama, leave me alone,
I disconnected the phone,
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
Thanksgiving Day is a mess
We always have too many guests
And my sister in law has a voice like a knife on a stone
I'm down on my knees
A couple Valium please
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
The nephews and nieces are fun,
Psychopaths every one,
They'll all need criminal lawyers long before they are grown
And then there's Uncle Ralph
Who sits and talks to himself
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
We've got some genetic defect
Therapy had no affect
I could tell you stories as strange as the Twilight Zone
There's a glow in Mom's eyes
What did she bake in those pies?
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
Last year Elvis dropped by
And a spaceship came down from the sky
Bright lights flashed and three creatures stepped out of the cone
With heads like eggplants,
It was three of my aunts.
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
Put on the soup and tea
No big dinner for me
I did Thanksgiving last year, I can't do it again
Mama, leave me alone,
I disconnected the phone,
I made my mind up, I'm going to stay home.
New Lyrics ©1996 by Garrison Keillor