GK:.....this portion of our show brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council.
CF: I don't mind the Mexican serape, the beads, the weird incense, all the pottery everywhere, the bowls with seeds in them and dried fruit and the pottery mugs with the herbal tea. What gets me are the wind chimes. I have some friends from the Seventies and when I go to their house and there's this gentle dinging and pinging and tinkling (SFX), you try to ignore it, and listen to the conversation, which is usually about The Land. Capitalized. The Land. The Community. The Rural Community. The Alternative Farming Community. And meanwhile, the stupid wind chimes. After awhile, I go outside with a roll of duct tape and use it as a mute (RIP OFF PIECE OF TAPE, SLAP IT ON CHIMES, DEAD CHIME SOUND). Much better. Let me tell you: I am a member of the Duct Tape community. Proud of it.
GK: A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
©1996 by Garrison Keillor