GK:....brought to you by the American Duct Tape Council. Oftentimes, things that we think are dysfunctional can be cured by the laying on of tape and giving the tape time to do its job, up to six months or a year in some cases. In the long run, all solutions are temporary anyway. So why not try Duct Tape? Maybe that can help.

......by True Taste Toast, each slice containing the minimum daily adult requirement of testosterone (TARZAN CRY).

. . . brought to you by Minnesota Ice. (ICE TUMBLING INTO GLASS). For a change of pace at your next party, put out genuine ice from Minnesota (ICE IN GLASS, QUIET PARTY TALK) and you'll find that nobody drops anything on the floor, the conversation is mostly about innovations in education, and everybody's gone well before midnight. Minnesota Ice (ICE TUMBLING INTO GLASS): good, clean, dependable fun.

© 1996 Garrison Keillor