GK:....brought to you by Bertha's Kitty Boutique. (MEOW) It's not easy being a cat and having to poop in a box (EMBARRASSED MEOW) and drink water out of a toilet (CAT NAUSEA) and eating tuna that you know is not fit for human consumption (RETCHING)----
GK: Think about it. Maybe you've been a little tough on Puff lately...and it is Mother's Day and when was the last time Puff saw its mother? (MEOW) Did you ever help Puff try to re-establish contact? (MEOW) No, you didn't. Why not? (MEOW) And the other little guys in Puff's litter ---- Snowball and Pookie and Chuckles and the Great Catsby ---- where are they today? (MEOW) Do they have kids? Are they neutered? Are they living on the street somewhere? (MEOW) Puff has a lot on his mind and maybe you've been emotionally distant when he needed your support ---- cats can sense that ---- (MEOW) and what better way to make up than with a jar of Alaskan King Salmon Caviar from Bertha's ---- (CAT INTEREST) a couple ounces of fresh pink salmon eggs--- twist off the cover and that catatonic cat will catwalk for joy (CAT SINGING) --- and now it's reduced in price, too. Isn't that right, Tim Russell---
TR: That's right. Alaskan King Salmon Caviar is now marked down from $121 per two ounce jar ---- to $114 ---- that's only fifty seven dollars per ounce.
GK: Hard to beat that price.
TR: That's right. Alaskan King Salmon Caviar is now marked down from $121 per two ounce jar ---- to $114 ---- that's only fifty seven dollars per ounce.
GK: And isn't your cat worth it? (MEOW) Of course he is.
CF: You're very important to me, Puff, and that's why we need to work out our hard feelings. (CAT PURR) You hungry? (CAT INTEREST) I've got a surprise for you in the cupboard....(CAT INTEREST)....
GK: Alaskan King Salmon Caviar from Bertha's Kitty Boutique......
TR: Now marked down to only fifty seven dollars per ounce.
GK: Remember, no man stands so tall as when he stoops to feed a cat. (MEOW)
© 1996 Garrison Keillor