GK:...brought to you by the Cafe Boeuf with Maurice the maitre'd your host. (FRENCH GIBBERISH) Does the Cafe Boeuf close during these winter snowstorms? (GALLANT FRENCH TOSS OF HEAD AND SARDONIC LAUGHTER) No, of course not. (GIBBERISH) Good food is an essential public service. (GIBBERISH AND ANIMAL GROWL) Snowstorms make a person very very hungry. (DRAMATIC GIBBERISH) And the sense of danger makes your choice very clear. (DRAMATIC QUESTION) If you were going to die in this snowstorm tonight, would you want your last meal to be a Big Mac? (SARDONIC LAUGHTER) No, of course not. (GIBBERISH ENDING "CAFE BOEUF") You'd want it to be a meal at the Cafe Boeuf. (SUAVE GIBBERISH). A fabulous wine, (SUAVE GIBBERISH) and incredible pate, (SUAVE GIBBERISH) a legendary salad - (SUAVE LAUGHTER) and all the rest - (GIBBERISH) and when you're finished, four hours later, (GIBBERISH) you wish you could die - (TK: Non non non non non! REPEATS GIBBERISH) - you are ready to die (HEROIC GIBBERISH) To die bravely, in deep snow (SLIGHT SOB) and fold your hands over your chest (GIBBERISH AND "VIVE LE FRANCE") and you think one last thought of your country (GALLIC SHUDDER AND DIE) and youexpire (GIBBERISH), a hero to the end, (GIBBERISH) and that is what a good wine can do for you. (GIBBERISH) And that is why the Cafe Boeuf will never close in a storm. (NON NON NON NON NON) Never.
© 1996 by Garrison Keillor