(MUSIC: PIANO, HOME-Y, WARM - CONTINUOUS)
MB: Alright everybody, thanksgiving dinner is served!
(SFX: BABY NONSENSE)
FN: Uh oh, somebody cut that baby off!
(ALL: HUGE LAUGHTER)
TR (ANNOUNCER): Have a newborn baby in your family? This Thanksgiving, be the star of the show with Prairie Home Companion's "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!"
(SFX: BABY KNOCKS DRINK DOWN)
MB: Oops, we made a spill!
FN: Uh-oh, watch out, this guy's had a few too many!
MB: I guess that's kind of funny?
TR (ANNOUNCER): What better way to celebrate the newest addition to your family than to make tons of jokes at the baby's expense?
(SFX: BABY SCREAMS)
FN: Hoo boy, looks like we got an angry drunk here!
TR (ANNOUNCER): Why should the baby get all the attention when you can get attention mocking the baby?
(SFX: BABY SCREAMING)
MB: Excuse me, it looks like I have to feed him-
FN: Hey kid take 'er out to DINNER FIRST! Am I right?? Get a room you two.
MB: nBob, can you calm down please?
TR (ANNOUNCER): "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!" has the perfect joke for every situation!
Baby needs to be changed?
FN: Hey, how come you never give me that kind of attention Barb?
MB: Eww. What did you say?
TN (ANNOUNCER): Is the baby naked for some reason?
FN: Uh oh we got a streaker! Let's all run to the quad.
MB: Bob, this is Thanksgiving. Will you please put your shirt back on?
FN: Is this the kid's table or Mardi-gras? Hey-o!
(MUSIC CUTS OUT)
MB: Bob, seriously what's wrong with you? Can you go ten seconds without competing with my baby for attention?
FN: Geez, I don't know...
FN: Can he go ten seconds without acting like a baby?
(MUSIC PICKS UP - BOUNCY AND FUN)
TR (ANNOUNCER): Prairie Home Companion's "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!" is available everywhere annoying Uncles will pay for things. Call now and you'll also receive a free copy of Prairie Home Companion's "How to ruin a funeral". n
(MUSIC UP, OUT. END)