(MUSIC: PIANO, HOME-Y, WARM - CONTINUOUS)

MB: Alright everybody, thanksgiving dinner is served!

(SFX: BABY NONSENSE)

FN: Uh oh, somebody cut that baby off!

(ALL: HUGE LAUGHTER)

TR (ANNOUNCER): Have a newborn baby in your family? This Thanksgiving, be the star of the show with Prairie Home Companion's "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!"

(SFX: BABY KNOCKS DRINK DOWN)

MB: Oops, we made a spill!

FN: Uh-oh, watch out, this guy's had a few too many!

(ALL: LAUGHTER)

MB: I guess that's kind of funny?

TR (ANNOUNCER): What better way to celebrate the newest addition to your family than to make tons of jokes at the baby's expense?

(SFX: BABY SCREAMS)

FN: Hoo boy, looks like we got an angry drunk here!

(ALL: LAUGHTER)

TR (ANNOUNCER): Why should the baby get all the attention when you can get attention mocking the baby?

(SFX: BABY SCREAMING)

MB: Excuse me, it looks like I have to feed him-

FN: Hey kid take 'er out to DINNER FIRST! Am I right?? Get a room you two.

MB: nBob, can you calm down please?

TR (ANNOUNCER): "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!" has the perfect joke for every situation!

Baby needs to be changed?

FN: Hey, how come you never give me that kind of attention Barb?

MB: Eww. What did you say?

TN (ANNOUNCER): Is the baby naked for some reason?

FN: Uh oh we got a streaker! Let's all run to the quad.

MB: Bob, this is Thanksgiving. Will you please put your shirt back on?

FN: Is this the kid's table or Mardi-gras? Hey-o!

(MUSIC CUTS OUT)

MB: Bob, seriously what's wrong with you? Can you go ten seconds without competing with my baby for attention?

FN: Geez, I don't know...

(BEAT)

FN: Can he go ten seconds without acting like a baby?

(MUSIC PICKS UP - BOUNCY AND FUN)

MB: What?

FN: Hey-o?

TR (ANNOUNCER): Prairie Home Companion's "There's a baby at the dinner table! Jokebook!" is available everywhere annoying Uncles will pay for things. Call now and you'll also receive a free copy of Prairie Home Companion's "How to ruin a funeral". n

(MUSIC UP, OUT. END)