(MUSIC UNDER)

TR (ANNC): From the insufferable hipsters who brought you "Breathy Acoustic Covers of Pop Songs" and "Breathy Acoustic Covers of Party Songs" comes an all new collection that will gently spook everyone at your costume contest- Breathy Acoustic Covers of Halloween Songs!

(MUSIC: ACOUSTIC STRUMMING OF "MONSTER MASH" BY BOBBY PICKETT AND THE CRYPT-KICKERS)

SB & CT (WHISPERY / SCATTY): He did the mash.

CT: He did the Monster Mash

SB & CT: He did the mash.

CT: It was a graveyard smash (aaah)

(MUSIC: SLOW ACOUSTIC STRUMMING OF "GHOSTBUSTERS" BY RAY PARKER JR)

TR (ANNC): Trick, treat and have a seat to the scariest hits you love, dulled down to a barely recognizable whisper!

SB (WHISPERY): If there's something strange in your neighborhood... who you gonna call? (CT: Who you gonna call?)

SB (SPOKEN) Ghostbusters.

FN (CHEERY, SPOKEN): I'm not afraid of any ghosts!

TR (ANNC): Enjoy the scariest songs of Halloween sung in the least scary way possible!

(MUSIC: ACOUSTIC STRUMMING OF "THRILLER" BY MICHAEL JACKSON)

CT: 'Cause this is a thriller, thriller night
SB: Girl I can thrill you more than any ghoul could ever dare try CT: Thriller, thriller night
SB: So let me hold you tight and share a killer... thriller

(MUSIC: LIGHT ACOUSTIC PLUCKING OF HALLOWEEN THEME)

TR (ANNC): Breathy Acoustic Covers of Halloween Songs is perfect for... Haunted Hayrides through Senior Living Communities

SB: (Old lady) Why are we in this wagon?

FN: (Old Dude) Who's a dragon?

TR (ANNC) (CONT.): -Trick or Treaters who dress as themselves.

(SFX: DING DONG)

SB (CHILD): Humans are the real monsters.

TR (ANNC) (CONT.): -and folks with inflatable turkeys in their front yard.

(SFX: VERY ANNOYING AND LOUD FAN)

TR (DAD): KIDS! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?!?

TR (ANNC): Order now with your credit card and you'll receive a Halloween-themed carton of raisins Free!
Breathy Acoustic Covers of Halloween Songs. We put the weenie in Halloween.

(MUSIC UP, OUT)n

ALL: Booo.