SB: (OFF MIC) Come on, come on! Get in!

(SFX: CAR DOORS OPEN AND CLOSE)

CT: Say! This is pretty slick!

SB: Did you notice I unlocked the door without any keys? The door handle reads my fingerprints!

CT: No keys? How do you start it?

SB: With my thumbprint. Watch this.

(SFX: SCANNER, JETSONS'-TYPE ENGINE WHIRRING TO LIFE)

CT: Oh, very cool.

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Greetings. I am the SCAT 3000. Self-Controlled Autonomous Transport. Where would you like to go?

SB: SCAT, take us to the mall!

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Estimated time to mall: 11 minutes.

(SFX: ENGINE WHIRRING INTO GEAR)

SB: Isn't that amazing? This is easily like the coolest car I've ever owned.

CT: And it's completely self-driving?

SB: Yea, and self-parking. The seats conform to our bodies and the mirrors self-adjust to my eyes.

CT: This is totally like science fiction!

SB: I know, right?! I just got it back from the dealership last week and I still can't believe it.

CT: "Just got it back?" You mean it was in the shop already?

SB: Oh, no. They're built in Silicon Valley so, when they're shipped to Minnesota they need to be recalibrated.

CT: Oh. Like you mean for the weather?

SB: No, it's a self-driving car so it needs to be set to drive the way we drive in Minnesota.

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Now merging onto highway. Slowing down.

CT: What? No! You're supposed to speed up to get on the highway!

SB: Relax. It's all part of the programming!

CT: Look out for that truck!!

(SFX: TRUCK HORN. WHEELS SCREECHING, SCREAMS.)

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Evasive action successful.

CT: Whoa!! That was close!! We could've gotten killed!

SB: Don't be such a worrywart. See? We're on the highway now. No problem.

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Posted Speed Limit is 55 miles per hour. Changing into left-hand lane and holding steady at 45.

(SFX: DISTANT CAR HORNS HONKING)

CT: Um ... we should be in the other lane. We're holding up traffic.

SB: Chris, the car knows what it's doing. This is how Minnesotans drive!

(SFX: OTHER CARS RACING PAST)

CT: Not all of them! People are passing us on the right! They're giving us hand signals!

SB: Well, so what?!! They're probably from Wisconsin.

(SFX: WARNING DING DING DING)

CT: What's that sound?

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Precipitation detected. Slowing down.

CT: What?! It's barely drizzling!

SB: Every time it rains or snows, the car won't go above 30.

CT: This is nuts! Can't you override these settings?

SB: I could switch to SUV-Mode, then the car goes 70 no matter what.

CT: Can we just ... just ... let's get off the highway? Take the next exit.

SB: Sure, if you want ... SCAT, take the next exit, please.

TR: (ROBOT VOICE) Next exit approaching.

CT: Hey ... but ... we're still in the left lane!

SB: Chris, trust the technology. The car will wait until the last second and then cut across two lanes of traffic without signaling. It's the Minnesota way!

SS: (ROBOT VOICE) Three ... two ... one!

(TIRES SCREECHING, HORNS HONKING, SCREAMING) TR (ANNC): The all new SCAT-3000, visit your local SCAT dealership to test-ride one today.